


Somewhere in the middle

by Dragonova9098



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf Culture & Customs, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, How Do I Tag, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25104538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonova9098/pseuds/Dragonova9098
Summary: "I have to join that roster" you mutter."What roster, my lady?"In that you internally groan, how many times do you have to explain it, "that roster!" You roar. "I wanna marry you, dammit!"--Or the story of how you joined the courting of the king and claim your rightful place beside him.
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s), Kíli (Tolkien)/Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first few chapters a few years back and I dont want to just delete it so I decided to continue. And so yeah, forgive my grammatical errors and typos. Im busy with my other fic that I dont have time to proofread it.
> 
> Enjoy my trash and please no mean comments. I have a very fragile heart.

Days after the battle of five armies, the infirmary inside the halls of Erebor is flooded with the sick and dying. Most men, woodland elves, and dwarves rush down to aid their wounded comrades. Bard and the others also started rebuilding both Dale and Lake Town while Dain helped on the rebuilding of The Lonely Mountain. It was busy, people running to and fro. 

The battle on Ravenhill flashes at Thorin's mind. There he was, lying on the icy river, Azog on top of him pinning him down with his sword. He was sure that that was his end. He was willing to die just to kill Azog. But out of nowhere your battle cry can be heard, and you appear beside Azog and stab him on his side, distracting Azog, as soon as the pale orc's attention shifted to you he immediately grabbed you by the neck and squeezed the life out of you. Your whimpers at that moment are like daggers being pinned to his heart. You used to be nothing to him, just someone who is lost in Middle earth, someone who Gandalf insisted to bring on the quest, someone who didn't came from Middle earth (as per what you said, how tall you are, honestly you aren't that tall, just a few inch smaller than Thorin and yet you look like you came from the tribe of men with your hairless face and round ears, and of course the strange way you dressed), someone who he have to look after to for you know nothing on how to hold a sword or even swing an axe. You used to be someone irrelevant. You used to. But as the journey continued, your cheery personality infected the group even at their worst days, your strange stories piqued their interest, your weird songs (that you insisted has nothing to do with your current situation but sings it because its been going on a loop in your head) amuses them. You became close with them in your own way. You became important to him too. He couldn't stand seeing you die. Not in front of him. Not when you save his nephews from this orc. So with his last strength, he pushed Azog back and beheaded him. Your body dropping from his grip unconsciously. You lay there beside Azog and he rushed to you. You were barely breathing. Your neck is so red from his grip. He kneeled beside you, afraid of touching you as the other dwarves rushed to where you are. 

The memory still gives him shivers. But all is well now. Thorin sits on the chair beside you. Watching you as you sleep, deep in your coma. Oin reassured him that you'll be fine and Balin told him that you'll sleep as long as you need and wake up when you wake up. Thorin does attend council meetings, after all he is king under the mountain now, but in his free time he wants to be the one beside you. 

Bilbo refuses to leave too, not until you wake up. He sometimes helps in the infirmary and sometimes he would wander to Dale and help them. But for the mean time he stays at Erebor and would look after you when Thorin is busy. 

You were placed in a separate room. In a more private place. The room is chilly, and even if you are placed near the hearth you still shiver from cold. Winter has come and the pile of blankets above you does nothing to lessen your discomfort. You did mention before to Bilbo and Bofur that you never like the cold. It makes you sick with cough and colds. One night you start shivering non stop under your blankets. Thorin touches your forehead and is alarmed at how cold you are. Immediately he calls for Oin and when he checks you he gasps.

"She's experiencing hypothermia" he explains, "quick! We need to warm her"

Then Thorin asks Bilbo to gather more blankets to cover you up and he does but all those blankets are still useless. You are still shivering and dying. Yet again Thorin watches as you slowly die in front of him. 

"No. Not again" Thorin mutters. He unlatches his belt and removes his tunic. He lifts the blankets and joins you in bed. He scoops you to his chest and covers you with his arm. He places his hand to your arm and moves it, creating friction to generate heat. He whispers soft prayers in your ear, begging you to hold on. 

The night passes and when the sun shines Thorin still has you in his arms. It was a rough night but you pulled through. When you stopped shivering he stayed beside you and when you were breathing even out he finally relaxed. He fell asleep while hugging you. 

It was Fili and Kili who came to wake him up. Expecting to find him on the chair beside you and not on the bed with his arms around you. 

"Let him sleep some more," Bilbo says, smoking his pipe.

"But-" Fili starts before his brother interrupts him.

"Aye brother he's right. Let uncle sleep. While we break our bones rebuilding, here he is, sleeping soundly in the arms of a woman" Kili chuckles.

"I heard that" Thorin grumbles then turns around to send his nephew a glare. In which Kili just grins.

"Uncle! Bard is just looking for you" Fili informs, "he ask for more gold"

After the war, and after his dragon sickness, Thorin apologized to Bard and to the people of lake town. He knew he was wrong for not honoring his words and wanted to set things straight. He gave Bard golds to help him rebuild their lives back and told him that if he needed more all he needed to do was come and ask for it. Thorin didn't apologize to Thranduil, but he did give what was his back to him and opened his doors for his injured elves. The injured elves stayed in the infirmary but Thranduil stayed at Dale, waiting for his elves to heal. They still hate each other but not to the point of wanting to kill each other.

Thorin left your side and stood. He reaches for his tunic and belt, which Bilbo folded last night, on the chair and wears it. Kili hums when he sees his uncle topless eyeing his brother who also cracks a smile. Not only did he spend the night in the arms of a woman, he also did it half naked. Clearly an inside joke is going on between the two of them in which Thorin just cleared his throat. 

"You should join us for breakfast, Master Baggins," Thorin says.

"Yes, Bombur made breakfast" Kili chimes in.

"Ori will come here. He volunteered to look after her. You should rest too" Fili suggests.

Bilbo stands up and stretches, "might as well" he says. "When will he arrive?" 

"Oh he's on his way here. Don't worry" says Fili as he and his brother walk out.

You were left alone in the room waiting for Ori, Thorin kissed your forehead before he did. The silence is something new and the cold seeping in under the blankets and into your body. It was the first thing you noticed, the cold. It feels like you were left inside a freezer. You open your eyes and eyed the empty room. Yes, you've been inside Erebor when you helped them flush Smaug out but not inside one of its rooms. Well, you guess it was Erebor since the walls are made of the same materials as the walls on the halls of king and- well everywhere in Erebor that you have been. You stand, wobbling in your feet, you take a few blankets to cover you from the cold. You felt your throat hurt so you looked for a glass of water. Having none present, you decide to look outside. Well it is Erebor, now you're sure of it. With its wide array of halls it's easy to find yourself lost. You tried going back the way you came and made a wrong turn which made you more lost. You also tried shouting but nothing came out and a sting of pain filled you. You reach a staircase going down and sit at the side, you hug your knees and start sobbing, which brings you more pain. You can't talk, scream, laugh, inhale sharply, and even cry without your throat causing you pain. You stay there hoping that somebody will find you soon. 

In the banquet hall, Thorin is eating breakfast while Bard discusses with him favors that he needs. Beside him, Dain would pitch in some of his ideas on how to make the front gate stronger than before. Fili and Kili would throw food at each other and would 'accidentally' throw some at Bilbo's direction. Every meal they have at Erebor is a merry one for not only did they reclaim their home, they also manage to defend it. 

Ori came puffing, alarming everyone, "she's gone"

"Gone?" Bilbo asks.

"Its.." Ori trail, still heaving for breath. Raising a hand for them to wait.

"Well what is it lad?" Dori urges.

"When I came there. She's not on the bed" Ori finishes.

With that Thorin stands and heads to your room followed by the company and Bard. He scans the room.

"Does she even know these halls?" Bard asks.

"I highly doubt it," Balin answers.

"Find her" Thorin, full of worry, mutters. When none of them still move he shouts "FIND HER!" 

They scram out of the room. Even Bard did. Everyone looks for you. Shouting your name. They check every room, every corner for you. Bifur and Bombur made a turn and then Bombur tripped on you. You were so tiny in the corner that he didn't see you. He falls down and rolls a few steps down before catching himself while Bifur grunts in khuzdul and helps his brother up. 

You were pushed forward and are on your knees. You stare wide-eyed. Never in your life did you pray for something and be given immediately. 

You were escorted back to your room. You tried to tell Bombur what happened but ended up doing a charade in front of him, and you kept on pointing at your throat. And once you settled down he left to call the others. You sit with Bifur in an awkward silence. You badly wanted to make conversation with him but with the language barrier between you you might end up talking about unicorns while he talks about battle plans. So you settled with the silence. You rest your head on the pillow and you pull the blankets up. Christ! The cold. You grew up in a tropical country, snow is alien to you, and how cold winter is is beyond what you imagine. You look at the fire and when you can't take it anymore you stand and walk towards it. You bask in its heat.

_ Dammit it's so cold _ you curse to yourself. The warmth of the fire is so soothing that you drew your hands closer to it.

A familiar voice shouts your name and startles you, "(y/n)!" You whip your head back and see Thorin walking toward you. You are confused as to whether you did something wrong or if he just likes wearing the same grumpy expression whenever it's you who he faces. When he reached you he held your hands and pulled you into a hug. You felt him exhaled, as if he was worried about you. 

When he pulls away a shiver runs down you. He chuckles at that. Bifur produces a thick fur jacket and hands it to Thorin and helps you wear it.

"You must be starving," he says.

You tried to speak. Last thing you wanted is to disrespect the king but Thorin noticed your discomfort. 

"It's fine" he caresses your face and ushers you out of the room.

When you reach the banquet hall Bard greets you, "you gave us a scare" he says.

You smile at him. Not being able to talk sucks. You can't even give a nice comeback. You all eat in peace. The deal going down between Bard and Thorin went well. Dain's plans for the rebuilding did get approved too. 

After your breakfast, you look around trying to keep up at everything you missed. You shrink in your place, feeling a little out of place when you realize everyone has a task to do. 

A tap on your hand brought your attention back to Thorin, looking at you he said "I won't be needed for today, am I not?" 

He asked nobody in particular, but Balin answer, "No you're not. You should enjoy your day lad" 

"Very well" Thorin stand and gestures for you to follow, "come with me (y/n)"

You stand up and follow him. Before you even left you saw Kili and Fili whispering to each other. You just rolled your eyes on them, a giggle painfully making its way out of you. Aside from the bond you made with the rest of the company, the one who you did enjoy the most was with those two. The three of you being the youngest, you were always assigned to pony look out duty. And those two will always prank you. From handling you worms to scaring you with stories, nothing harmful though. 

Thorin leads you to a hallway and into a room much bigger than the one you previously had. He brought the fire alive on the fireplace and you ran to it. He chuckled at that and sat on the chair beside it. 

"This will be your chamber," he says "if you'll need anything Balin will be next door. There are also clothes for you. I had them made when you were asleep" he points at the big closet by the side of the bed. He shuffled on his tunic and brought out a box "and this is my gratitude, accept this (y/n). For now on you're not just a member of my company but also an honorary part of my kingdom"

You accept the box and see a clip inside it. You look up to him and thank him with your eyes. 

He seems to have understood and smiles back to you, "I will keep you safe inside the walls of my kingdom. And I appoint you as one of my advisors and my personal royal secretary" he smiles fondly.

You want to tell him that normally when people say thanks they just tell it to you or maybe if they feel generous they'll buy you dinner, not appoint you to some job you have no idea how to do. But then the pain in your throat stops you. So you squint your eyes on him and he seems to take this as self doubt in your part.

"You'll do well. I know, for you've always surpassed my expectation" he stands and walks to the door, "I'll leave you to rest. And later I will give you a tour. You'll need to know the palace to do your job" and with that he left. 

You can't believe it. He enforced a job on you and named it gratitude. He could have just given you gold like what he promised Bilbo so you could live your life merrily. But no, it has to be a job. A personal secretary nonetheless. You pinch the bridge of your nose, you make an attempt to groan but pain was what was given to you and with that you roll your eyes. You'll definitely have a word with him once you can talk. But for the meantime you walk to the closet and rummage on the clothes he was talking about. It was all fancy dresses (you actually have no idea on what fancy looks like, but between your choice of clothing back home and this, this is more luxurious in your eyes). You place the clip on your hair and decide that you'll take a hot bath. When you peek at the bathroom you see that not only does the toilet is made of gold but you also have a small hot spring. And so you bathe at your heart's content. 

After a few hours a knock came at your door. You were expecting Thorin but it was Bilbo. You see him carrying his packs and his walking stick. 

"I came to say goodbye," he says. "I was only waiting for you to wake up and now that you are up it's time for me to go, goodbye (y/n). If you ever made your way to shire, my home is on the top hill. Don't bother knocking" Bilbo smiles warmly at you.

Tears stream your face. You pull him into a hug and he pat you on the head. In your journey, Bilbo is the one whom you talk the most. He is also the one who matches your pace while walking so you won't be left behind. And when the company was busy fighting he was the one by your side and ready to defend you. 

"I will miss you," he says.

You point at yourself and back to him,  _ and so will I _ . You smile at him and he nods. In the front gate you watch as he leaves with Gandalf after he bid his farewell to the dwarves and everybody wishes him safe travels. 

After he was gone, Thorin came to your side and gestured for you inside. He gave you a tour and explained each function of each hall. You saw that most of the walls that Smaug destroyed had already been rebuilt. He told you that his kin from Ered Luin had started their journey back to the mountain and can be expected to reach the mountain after several months and for the mean time Dain and his dwarrows helped rebuild Erebor. He brought you to his study and told you about his kin, you learned more about the seven kingdoms of the dwarves, their culture, business trades, you also study their language (unfortunately for you no matter how hard you tried you just can't speak it, but hey at least if they speak slowly you'll understand).

Weeks and months passed, the rebuild of Erebor was finished, Dain and his dwarrows had gone home, and your throat has healed and the bruise went away. You fill in the role as royal secretary and when the dwarves from Ered Luin came the palace has been busier than ever, it's an endless party these dwarves had, thus draining you out. Between knowing what your king will need before he needs it to attending council meetings and writing laws and to assisting Bard on the rebuild of both Dale and Lake Town, everything just drains you out. 

That night, an emergency meeting was called. You head out to the council room with your head out of it. You sit there beside Balin with no intention of participating and just waiting for it to end when somebody spoke of marriage and it caught your attention.

"Who's getting married?" You ask.

"The king lass" Balin says, "now listen and don't make me repeat myself. All seven kingdoms will have one representative. And each one of them will be presented to the king by next week. Other kingdoms had already made their pick on who they'll present. But since we've been busy on the rebuilding and everything the problem of who's we're gonna present arise, now we could alway opt fo-"

"Wait. Does Thorin know?" You've been by his side all the time and this is the first time you've heard about this, and if you haven't heard about it yet then Thorin probably hasn't yet.

"Yes lass. Just now I sent a herald, '' one of the council members, Druag, says.

"Now where were we? Ah yes. The one we will present. As I was saying we could always opt for our own noble dwarrowdam-" Balin was once again interrupted.

"That's it then. I will send a message to all the nobles tomorrow. From them, we will pick the best dwarrowdam to represent Erebor" the other council members roared in agreement and the council meeting was adjourned. 

Balin sighs, "the king will not like this."

"Is this really necessary?" You ask.

"The task of having an heir is bestowed upon all king lass."

"But he has Fili." 

"A direct descendant is still more acknowledged."

"He will not like this at all" you mutter under your breath and walk with Balin back to your chambers but before you reach your hall Balin turns and you asks, "where are you going? Rooms this way"

"I'll try to alleviate the anger of our king, you go on lass" with that he turns to the hall of the royal chamber.

You want to help too but your tired eyes and constant yawning dawns on you. You walk back to your room where your handmaid, Allia, is waiting for you. She helps you out of your formal robes and change into sleep wear.

_ Tomorrow be damned! _ You sleep soundly and let all the problems of tomorrow be resolved tomorrow. And you wouldn't think in the slightest that tomorrow is just the start of the real pain in the ass situation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I had problems with the wifi. Its so fricking slow. But hey! I hope you enjoy.

You usually wake up before sunrise to prepare everything that the king will need. You're that dedicated to the job, waking up early even without an alarm clock. But today is different, the sun is already out when you open your eyes. A big jolt makes you jump up and rush to change. You rush to the king's study, where you know where he'll be this hour of the day, and realise it would be wise to grab something from the cellar first. Well you're late anyway why not have coffee first? So you turn and head a different direction. The palace cellar is this big organized mess. (It's organized because food is categorized but a mess because they didn't even bother to put shelves in yet.) You browse on what to eat with your coffee and decide to settle on a muffin. 

You are behind this big pile of pastries when giggles came in from the entrance of the cellars. You know whom that voice is. You are about to round the pile and ask (more like nag) Allia for not waking you up when another familiar voice spoke.

"Won't she look for you?" Fili asks.

"Well, she will. But a minute won't hurt" Allia giggles. 

Clearly you are hearing things that should be private so you stay behind the pile while the both of them laugh and giggle, afraid that they might find you. You know Kili and Tauriel are openly dating now (after she was exiled she stayed at Dale), to Thorin's dismay, but you didn't know something was happening between Allia and Fili. You wonder why they hide. Allia is a dwarrowdam, so there should be no problem right?

After the lovebirds left, you take your leave too. You planned to have a grand entrance to the study with coffee and muffin in hand but Allia and Fili took so long you ended up finishing both in the cellar. When you reach the study, you try to listen if someone else is inside and peak, opening the door carefully.

"Good morning" Thorin greets. He scribbles behind his big ass table.

"Um, morning" you whisper, still at the door, "I'm sorry, woke up late" you wave your hand in the air as if to demonstrate something but end up feeling more awkward. 

Thorin smiles at you, you wonder if last night didn't happen. He seems to be in such a good mood.

"What happened?" You ask, eyeing him, "why are you smiling?"

His smile drops, "isn't it allowed?" He ask back.

"No. No- I mean yes, it is," you laugh nervously.

"Are you going to stay at the door all day? Or do you want to come in?"

With that you enter the room. You're really confused at what's happening that you pace the room not really knowing what to do. What do you do at this time of the day? Usually you wake up in the morning, ready the papers he needs to study, send messages that need to be sent, talk to people you need to talk to, or go to Dale and check on them. But you're really lost on what to do that you pretend to fix the books in his bookshelves. Then you remembered something.

"Oh! Did they already pick someone?" You ask.

Thorin hums and looks at you, "aye, we did"

"Oh. Lucky girl,"  _ did he just say 'we'? _

"Indeed she is"

You chuckle a little bitterly, you didn't even bother asking who this is. Jealousy isn't a good color for you.

"(Y/n)" Thorin calls your name, "I want you to make the incoming guess comfortable, prepare the rooms, assign chambermaids to each one of them"

You nod, "I'll prepare the seven rooms immediately, my king"

"Eight" He said. You look at him in confusion and he just smiles and gestures for you to go.

You nod and leave.

Eight? Why eight? Did you miss something? Clearly waking late made you miss a lot. You head out and search for Balin. If someone knows what the hell is happening it's him.

When you found Balin you smiled at him, "Hola!" You greets then you mentally slap yourself when you remember they didn't know what that means. "Hello. It's hello"

"Hello lass," Balin smiles.

"So," you start, sitting beside him, "apparently I'm missing something"

"What are you missing lass?"

"When I came to Thorin earlier, he seems, you know, okay"

"Should he not be ok?"

"No! No. Okay is good. But why?"

"Did he already tell you, lass?"

"Yeah, he found someone" you internally cringe at how defeated you sound.

"Aye, he did"

"But why eight? Is there a hidden kingdom that I didn't know about?" You change the direction of the conversation so you could avoid revealing how hurt you are.

"There is none lass. The council had their pick. As well as the king"

"Oh! So two representatives will be coming from us," now you understand.

"He didn't mention it to you didnt he?" Balin asks.

"Mention what?" 

Balin sigh, "it'll be better if you ask him yourself"

You are now enlightened on other things but are now drowning in confusion on another.  _ Mention what? Why didn't he tell me what the hell it is earlier? What an ass. _

Instead of going back to Thorin and demanding the information everyone seems to be hiding from you, you head to find Allia. 

You head and look at the stables where you know she'll be and find her in the corner feeding apples to a pony.

"Allia!" You yell.

She jolts and nearly falls, "Lady (y/n)!"

"Where were you?" You ask, "Why didn't you wake me up?" You pace the stable, "oh! You won't believe it. They've picked two from us. God! So lucky!" You scoff, "and here I am picking after his ass all the time!"

"So I've heard my lady. And I'm sorry. I was about to wake you up. But the king was already in your room when I came there. The-"

"Who was in my room?" You snap your head at her direction.

"The king, my lady. He was sitting beside you at your bed. When I came he told me to let you rest some more and dismissed me. So I did. Then I decided to bring you breakfast in your chamber," Allia brush her dress and whispers, "but I got distracted, then when I came to your room you were gone"

You narrow your eyes on her, "is that why you were with Fili at the cellar?"

Allia's face became the shade of a tomato. She fidgets and bows her head, "how did you know? My lady please, don't tell the king."

"Why?" You wonder, "as of what I heard earlier you two seem to have a good chemistry. It's good for the both of you, I think."

"No, my lady, you don't understand," she whispers, you look around but the two of you were the only one in the stables, "I'm just a chambermaid. I am unworthy of somebody like him. No body will allow it. I might.." she stops, deciding whether to continue, but then she did, "I might get beheaded."

You gasp, "Thorin wouldn't dare!!"

"The king might not, but the council will," she looks at the floor defeatedly, "I knew I shouldn't have given him hope. It's dangerous for the both of us. But, my lady, I love him. So much"

You look at her and sigh, "I won't tell a soul. But please be careful. Do I still need to remind you that the floor has eyes and the halls have ears?"

"No, my lady. Thank you so much," she pulls you in for a hug. 

_ It is unacceptable. How could they dismiss love like that. It's not like they need Fili to marry for money, cause boy they got tons and tons of it. Also what's the need for Thorin to marry a noble? He already has Fili as the heir. And why was he fighting against it? Do he really wanna get married? No. You know he didn't want it. But why is he so calm? _

All of this going all at once at your head. Allia had to clear her throat for you to release her out of your arms and pull you back to reality. You know you need to do something. You didn't want to lose Thorin. And maybe, if you got lucky, you might be able to help Allia with her problem.

"I have to join that roster" you mutter.

"What roster, my lady?" 

" _ That _ roster" you said more firmly, "go prepare the rooms Allia. Assign chambermaids, prepare for the coming guess. Make their stay comfortable, but not too comfortable," you order as you leave the stable.

You head back to the king's study. You rush and slam his door open, surprising the three grown men inside.

"What did the door ever do to you lassie?" Dwalin asks.

"I'm here to talk to you," you look at Thorin, "privately."

He smiles at you fondly, "then we will. I will just finish this." 

"It'll just be quick" you say, nearly begging.

"Then say it lass" Balin, who is sitting on an armchair, said.

"I can't,"  _ it's embarrassing  _ "its, um," you trail.

"You can't tell?" Dwalin asked teasingly.

"No! I can. Its just, you know"  _ oh fuck it! _ "I wanna join that roster" you declare.

"What roster?" Thorin asks.

In that you internally groan, how many times do you have to explain it, " _ that  _ roster!" You roar. "I wanna marry you, dammit!" 

The realization of what you just admitted dawn on you. Your face feels so hot that you turn around to fan yourself at the same time you try your hardest to even your breathing. Amuse hums come out from the three dwarves behind you.

"That is some kind of courage," Dwalin says, in which Balin only chuckles.

"What did I say? She's up for it" Balin says.

"Not how I imagine this talk will come down," Thorin says, "but I'm glad it did."

You turn to face them, eyeing the three of them, "what is this?" You ask, pointing at the three of them, "what's happening?"

Dwalin smile at you, Balin look over Thorin, and Thorin rise from his chair and walk over you, "I'm glad that you desire to marry me too for I have chosen you to represent me in the courting"

"What? Me? Wait. Can you do that?" 

"Aye, he is king after all," Balin says, "if he wish to marry someone, he can have her represent him in the courting"

"But after that all will be up to you. You will have to pass tests and woo the council" Thorin adds. He gave your shoulder a squeeze.

"Oh,"  _ oh shit. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnddd here it is!!!

You await in the chamber that was assigned to you (the chamber that you prepared). The last noble dwarrowdam from the farthest kingdom has just arrived and all of you are being prepared to be presented to the king. Your handmaids, Allia and Tauriel (you end up asking her help since the other dwarrowdam in the kingdom chose to support Helga, Erebor's representative), just finish braiding your hair in a loose updo. Allia presents dresses that are all in bold colors, ranging from hot red to bright orange.

"Not really my style" you move back to the rack and see a white flowy dress and show it to the two.

"White is a pretty color. Classic and pristine," Tauriel says.

"No. You need to stand out my lady" Allia says.

"But she already stands out. Why make her fit in? I bet those women will wear bold colors too" Tauriel says.

You sigh, "this is the one then," you change into the dress, letting your discarded dress pool down at your feet and stepping out.

"Oh! That looks good!" Tauriel praise.

Allia nods in agreement, "I stand corrected my lady. You look stunning. Like a gem shining in the room"

"Okay, enough buttering me up!" You snap. You did put yourself in this situation somehow, but the weight of the whole ordeal is unbelievable. You find yourself constantly overthinking that you were out of yourself most of the time. What if the council did not like you? What if Thorin realized he didn't like you after all? You spiral down that thinking all the time.

It was explained to you that even though the king chose you to represent him, the decision of who the queen will be still rely on the council members (yes, the one you're in). By the end of it, all of them will vote on whom they think will suit best for the role and to whom the kingdom will benefit the most. 

"It's just easy. Minus me, there will be just twelve council member to win over," you assure yourself.

"Lets not forget that you already had Master Balin's vote" Allia reassures, "so that's just eleven for you"

"Yes, but Helga has three uncles in the council. So it's just nine more for her," you groan.

"Hush now. She might get three votes but that's all she'll ever get. You'll win the others," Tauriel says.

A knock came from the door and Bofur peaked his head in, "there she is, our future queen."

You groan again, "please don't remind me of my future failure" you said.

"Why lassie? Don't fret, the king made sure you get all the help you need"

With that you smile, "thank you."

"Oh don't thank me lass, thank the king" he chuckles, "by the way you might need this," he walks inside the room carrying a small chest of golds.

"What for?" You ask.

"As a gift. To the king! It's in our culture to bring a gift when presenting a mate, its like showing what you can offer"

"But why would you give the king under the mountain gold when he already has an overflowing one?"

"Good question lass. But it is customary to do so" 

You take the chest from him and you are shock at how heavy it is, "thanks Bofur."

"Okay lass, lets go. The king is already waiting" he ushers you out of the room and leads you in front of the great hall where all noble dwarrowdams and their entourage is waiting.

When you walk in it is obvious that the dwarrowdams from the other kingdoms started murmuring and giving you glances from head to toe.

"Well, good luck lass. The king wishes to give you an entourage but those are strictly all female. So we can not help," Bofur hugs you, "I'll see you inside"

With that he left and went inside the great hall. Murmurs started to rise in volume. Some you can't understand and some you wish you didn't. All of this makes you uncomfortable.

"Is that her? The one the king under the mountain chooses? She's so thin. She's hairless. Really? That dress? No one will notice her. She looks weak. She doesn't even wear a lot of jewelry. Is she even a noble? Is she even one of us?" 

"(Y/n)!" Tauriel shakes you up. "Stop listening to them. You were chosen by the king. Have some pride in that." Tauriel knocks some senses to you and you hold your head up high.

The sound of the trumpet comes and the herald starts announcing the names of all the dwarrowdams (and you) and one by one you enter as you are called.

"Lady Helga of Erebor!" the herald announces. Helga and her long ass entourage walk to the great hall. "Lady Thelma of Iron Hills! Lady Fian of Belegost! Lady Klosh of Nogrod" and so on and so forth.

You await for your name. The anxiety of not knowing what to expect inside the great hall is making you fidgety. You keep on pulling the helm of your dress trying to release the butterflies in your stomach.

"Lady (y/n) of Erebor"

_ Damn. _

Allia squeezes your shoulder and walks ahead of you beside Tauriel. You close your eyes and inhale deeply and start walking too. 

You've been in the great hall before and many times too. But as you walk down on the isle (that was specially made for this occasion) this is the first time you've seen this place organized. The tapestries on the walls shows how the company defended the mountain, events on the journey, events after the war. You stare at it in awe. Dwarves are on both sides of the isle watching all the dwarrowdams (and you) and in front you see Thorin seated on his huge stone throne and beside him Fili and Kili stand, the three of them eyeing the three of you.

Before you reach the end of the isle you see the noble dwarrowdam,  _ what was her name again? _ She curtsy and turn left where one of the four stone chairs waits for her. You did the same, you curtsy and as you look at Thorin he nods at you and smiles and you turn right where your chair is. You sigh as you sit. You never really like attention, but to be included in the pool of women who could be the queen of Erebor attracts so many of it. You feel yourself shrinking in your chair, self doubt creeping inside your brain. A nudge from your left calls your attention. Tauriel gestures for you to raise your head and you did. 

You see the nobles one by one head in front and present their gift to the king and bow their head. It's just the usual stuff: diamonds, rubies, and gold plates. What stands out from the rest is what Helga gave, mithril. The council members' eyes grow wide on it, even Thorin is pleased at the gift.

_ So I wasnt the only one who thought that its stupid to give him something that he already have. Not to mention an ocean of those things. _

You've never back down on a challenge. Helga's gift proves that this isn't just some game. It's war. Helga's move distracts you from your self doubt and now your mind races to find a way to counter it.

_ What to give somebody who already has everything? Ah! But he didn't have everything. Yet. _

When it's your turn, you stand and walk straight in front ignoring Allia who tried to handle the chest of gold to you. No, you've decided, you won't give him golds or diamonds or rubies or most definitely not mithril. You'll give him something he still doesn't have.

"My king!" You said a little bit loudly, you take deep breaths before you continue,"I came here with no golds or gems or some fancy metal," you flinch when you heard some of the council members gasp and a loud murmur came from the crowd, "but!" You continue,"I came with my heart. My services. My time. I know tangible things are way better appreciated but for someone who is very capable of producing his own gems or gold or whatever I was baffled with the thought of giving you any. Thus, I conclude that the best thing to give the king under the mountain is a little bit of peace I can offer. A safe haven for your heart" you shrug, running out of things to say, "thats.. that's all I can give"

You stare at the floor. You are waiting for the king to shout at you or for him to ask the guards to throw you out. He entrusted you this. He even supplied you with golds. Every second passing makes you want to turn around and pack your thing and run away.

You hear Thorin speak, "(y/n)" he calls, "look at me"

You raise your head and lock eyes with him. His face was unreadable.

"That gift violates our long standing culture, it violates the sacredness of this ordeal, it violates our law," his voice is booming and you close your eyes, you hear the dwarrowdams behind you snicker, "but out of all the gifts that's the one I appreciate the most" his eyes soften at you and he gives you that fond smile that you love the most.

It is as if you were holding your breath at all of this when you exhale in relief. You walk back and realize you forget to bow so you face him again and bow quickly and walk back to your chair.

You feel your face heats up so you fan it while still catching your breath. The announcement that the presentation ends the whole gathering. All of the noble dwarrowdams (including you) are escorted back to your rooms. On your way back Allia nudges you.

"That was clever," she giggles.

"Yes. No one saw it coming" Tauriel adds, "you should have seen their faces."

You laugh too, happy that while you didn't follow tradition you know you still won that round. After all, why would you follow tradition, you are not a dwarf.

A hoot comes from around the corner and both Allia and Tauriel beams at it. They look around and drag you with them. The three of you enter a room where Fili and Kili await.

"Amrâlimê," Kili says. Tauriel saunters towards him and hugs him. While Fili grabs Allia by the waist and twirls her around.

"Ah! Hello to you too boys" you tease.

"(Y/n)" Fili greets, eyes still on Allia.

"That was great (y/n)! Uncle really liked what you gave!" Kili says to you, "but unfortunately uncle cant meet you. He's being swarm by the council members"

"That's why he sent us" Fili inform.

"Sent you? For what?" You ask.

"To give you a heads up on what's going to happen tomorrow. You know he worries about you" Kili answers.

"What's to happen tomorrow?" At this point you are afraid to even know.

"Oh tomorrow! Tomorrow is the maze" Kili smiles as if everything is okay.

"Maze?"

"Aye. As of now they're building the dome for the maze. And I heard that you eight will not be alone in it" Fili supply.

"Oh! Who else is gonna be there?" 

"Not who. What. There will be hungry tigers in it too, don't fret, you're always light on your feet anyways" Kili says.

"Aye! Uncle sent us to inform you. So you could prepare," Fili picks a long sword behind him and hands it to you, "he gives you this."

When you come into this world you have no idea on how to defend yourself (you even hit yourself with an axe in the head). But as the journey becomes more dangerous you learn a thing or two from the company. From being saved by Thorin from the goblins to killing a few orcs and wargs. But those are because you are confident that if you slip up Thorin will be there to protect you. That Thorin will be there. But tomorrow, aside from finding your way out of that maze, you also had to look out for hungry tigers! 

_Damn!_ _Is this how they court? Put her to a pit with a tiger. If she survives, welp maybe I'll marry her!_

"Tigers?" You laugh, "gosh. I'm so gonna die tomorrow"

No matter how much you turn in your bed that night sleep can't seem to find you. When rest is most vital, you can't seem to do it. So you just give up and stand, you're not getting any sleep anyway so why not make use of the time. You head to the library and run your fingers at the covers of the books, looking for something interesting to read. At night this place is deserted. Not even a librarian is in sight. You settle for a book with drawings, not really in the mood for reading anyway. You sit at one of the long tables with your lamp beside you. You scan the book and laugh at things that look funny to you. Shame your khuzdul is not that good.

"I'm glad that you find our children's book funny" a voice that comes out of nowhere says.

"Thorin!" Your heart leapt out of your chest in surprise, "you scared me."

"Forgive me, it was never my intention" he chuckles, "what does the lady do in the library in this hour?" He asks.

"You mean beside reading this book?" You raise the book in front of your face hiding your grin.

Thorin sat beside you, "aye! Beside reading the book," he takes the book from your hand, closes it, and places it back on the table.

You hum, "maybe I was waiting for someone to come and entertain me," you whisper.

He looks around the library, "I presume he didn't show up?" He whispered back.

"Nah, he just did"

His fingers caress the side of your face, "(y/n) would you lik-"

"Yes" you immediately answer.

It earns a deep laugh from him. He cradles your face in his hands and pulls you gently. He kisses your forehead and continues, "would you like me to read you the book?"

You giggle and nod. He picks the book back up and starts reading in khuzdul. His voice does wonders to you and you think that it's so unfair for someone to have that kind of voice. That deep lushious voice. That voice that can both command you and lull you to sleep. That voice you want to hear first thing in the morning and last thing in the night. The one you want panting your name on the sheet. The one you love. After every paragraph he translates it to the language you understand. You soak in his stories and bask in his love.

When he's done he escorts you back to your room, both of you laughing and happy.

"I'm glad I was able to see you today after all those fiascoes I had earlier" you smile at him.

"I won't call it a fiasco. I was true when I said that that's the one I appreciate the most," he counter, "and yes, I am glad to see you too"

"Well, good night my king. And thank you for that wonderful story"

"Good night my lady"

You enter your room and smile at him while you close the door. You head back to your bed and climb on it. This time you sleep soundly.

You just have to pass the maze tomorrow right? That'll be easy right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the tigers!

All eight of you are escorted inside the dome out of Erebor, it amazes you how they've built this in just one night. Inside the dome, planks stood upright creating a maze and if you look up, you'll see the spectators sitting in the audience outside the dome, there are only two gates, one for entrance and the other, beyond the maze, is the exit. You see weapons line the wall, inside the maze, and a horde of it in the entrance. You feel like you are in some gladiator movie, except here if you are lucky you can avoid death. Just above the exit, on a platform you see Thorin with his nephews, Fili in his right while Kili in his left, sitting in their chair comfortably.

_ Great. All eight of us are stuck here inside this great dome of death. _

Dwarrows come to help you into your armors. Dwalin assists you into yours, handling you with a shield and the long sword that Fili gave you yesterday. He places a helmet on your head but the armor is already heavy and the extra weight will just slow you down so you remove it.

"Don't need this" you give it back but Dwalin just place it back to your head.

"You will lass," he sighs, "beside  _ he  _ worries" he nods toward Thorin.

You resigned and just left the helmet on. You touch the armor and feel how smooth it is, dwarves really do know how to craft. You wonder how strong a tiger's jaws are and if they'll be able to pierce through your armor. 

Dwalin place something in your hand, "this is given to all the dwarrowdams participating, blow on it and we'll bring you out lass"

"Oh. What? Like conceding?"

"Aye. That's why nobody wishes for you to use it. But use it if you need to"

You clutch on it hard. Dwalin gives you one last look and leaves along with the other dwarrows leaving the eight of you inside. You see Helga looking at you and rolling her eyes as you stand side by side to each other. Instructions are given, mainly you just have to make it across the maze, dwarrowdams who won't make it will be eliminated.

_ Eliminated? Like death kind of eliminated? _

At the sound of the trumpet all of you make a move to enter the maze. Before you could make it Helga shove you hard that you fly a few feet back. The landing pushed all the air out of your lungs. You lie back coughing, good thing you didn't remove that helmet. Roars of cheers come from the spectators. A sound of heavy chain and groans of metals comes from behind you. You raise your head to look and what you see gives you goosebumps. The tigers walk in growling. You count it and there are three of them. The loud roars from the crowd distracted them from seeing you and you quickly stand and run inside the maze. Somehow, even inside the maze you can still the spectators outside. You look at Fili and Kili and nod.

Yesterday when you heard that you are about to be put inside a maze you already know that you'll lose. You knew that you have this amazing ability that allows you to choose the wrong decision every time and inside a maze it's all up to your decision to save you. Make the right turn and you'll find the exit, make the wrong one and you're lunch for those hungry kitties. So to at least survive this you ask their help (yeah, you could call this cheating but hey it's your life at stake here). You knew they would be placed at a high place, a platform or up in a dais, you knew they'd have a vantage point. So you devised a plan. You ask them to point to you the right direction by jerking their head to the right path. If they tilt right, then you turn right.

You look up to them closely. You can hear the tigers behind you but don't you dare to look behind. You follow them and bump to another noble.

"Ow" you fall backwards. You are looking up this whole time that you didn't notice her.

"Oh. Im sorry!" She exclaimed, offering a hand to you.

You are taken aback, for all you know all the other nobles did not like you. After all, the king chooses you personally. You take her hand, "thank you"

"Your welcome" she smiled, "Lady (Y/n), right?"

"Ah, y-yes. Yes," you stammer "sorry who are you again?" You ask.

"Lady Miel of Aglarond"

Ah now you remember her. She was the one in front of you yesterday. The one wearing that yellow dress and gave the king rubies. "Oh! Hi"

Even before she could reply a loud growl interrupted her. You slowly turn back and there it is. One of the tigers has followed you. You unsheath your sword and hide behind your shield. You grip the whistle hard in your hand, ready to blow it any minute. 

Lady Miel raises her axe as well and smiles at you, "shall we beat this beast?"

You look at her as she shouts a battle cry and owns all the tiger's attention. You look back to Fili and Kili and they both gesture for you to turn left. You bolts and leaves the duel between Miel and the tiger. Subconsciously you feel a little guilty leaving her behind but you know against that ferocious cat you'll end up losing. And even if you team up you'll just be a dead weight anyway.

"Oh god. Dont die Lady Miel" you mutter. 

You turn and end up in a three way path. One in front, one on the left, one on the right. You look up to Fili and Kili and get even more confused. Kili tilts his head right while Fili left. You look at the both of them back and forth, narrowing your eyes. Seems like they didn't know that they were pointing in the opposite direction so to make sure you subtly tried pointing your fingers to the right and saw Kili nods while Fili shakes his head. Between them, Thorin watches you as you point to the left and notice his nephews beside him move slightly. He realizes what you are trying to do so when you point left again he clears his throat, kicks Kili, and nods, hoping you'll see that. Of course that did not escape you. You've been passing your eyes between his two nephews so he's within your vision the entire time. You continue walking through the maze and this time even Thorin helps you.

You see the end of the maze and run past it. Out in the open you see that four of you made it. You ran to the gate expecting that it'll open up but when it didn't you slam hard on it. You look up and into the crowd in which they chants "you open it! You open it!" You look at the nobles with you and an understanding passes through you. _Work together._ The lever for the gates are outside just an arm reach. Lady Klosh reaches for it while the three of you keep an eye back at the maze. Another two noble dwarrowdams come out of the maze running and joining the four of you. _Great! The more the merrier._ From the right you see Helga emerging from the maze all bloodied and running to you. You groan upon seeing her.

"Hurry Klosh!" One of you shouts.

"Im trying!" She shouted back.

A loud roar comes from the maze and all of you look back. There, the tiger climbed the planks causing it to fall down like a domino. The tiger eyes the exit and makes its ways towards you. Farther to the left, a plank shuffles and makes a loud thud revealing Lady Miel underneath. The sound caught the tigers attention and shifted toward her. Behind you Helga pushes Klosh aside and reaches for the lever herself. She was able to push it down and slowly you can hear the chains moving, opening the gate. 

Your eyes stuck with Lady Miel, "Miel! Look out!" You yell.

She turns and comes face to face with the tiger. She stumbled backward, her hand searching for her axe that probably got left behind underneath those planks. She moves backward as the tiger advances.

You look at her and something within you rises. It's like that feeling you had when you saw Thorin pinned to the ground many moons ago (honestly, you didn't want to remember that event so you avoid thinking about it as much as you can). You grip your sword and unconsciously your feet start to move. You ran back to the maze and towards the tiger. You swing your sword, cutting the tiger in the face. It growls in pain and backed up a little bit. You help Miel up and next thing you know both of you are flying forward. The tiger whip its tail sending you a few feet away from the gate, you see the nobles holding it open for the both of you shouting for you to run. You loosen the shield and that goddamn helmet, picking up your sword. Miel helps you up and the both of you run toward the gate. Just a few more steps then  _ BAM _ , the tiger slammed its body to the gate pushing the nobles back and shutting the gate.

"Oh shit!" You exclaim. Miel pulls you back and the both of you run the other direction. Miel noticed some planks that fell to the wall, creating a cave where you could crawl inside. She drags you there and pushes you inside. The both of you crawl inside and stay in the middle, the entrance too small for the tiger to come in while inside it has enough space for you to stand. Luckily the other end is covered by debris so the both of you stay back there. You wait for the tiger to show itself in the entrance but jolt instead when something slams against the plank making it creak above you, the tiger does it again making dust from the plank fall on you. When it realizes that it's futile it goes to the side and reaches for you in the entrance with its claw but before it could reach you, you stab it and it retreat, howling in pain.

_ This is it. The moment of my death.  _

You stand between the entrance and Lady Miel with your sword held up. You hear the tiger roar loudly outside. You brace yourself for what is about to happen. Outside the tiger linger assessing its next move. 

If only you could call for help.  _ Help! _ You rummage on your armor for your whistle and realize that it's gone, you must have dropped it somewhere. You drop down and search the ground for it, running your hand to the sandy floor. Outside the tiger ran to the entrance slamming its body to it and making the planks shake.  _ It won't hold.  _

"What are you doing?!" Miel ask

"Looking!" You continue feeling the floor for your whistle, "it must have fallen around here somewhere!" 

"What is?" She asks again as the tiger slams its body once more at the entrance.

"Whistle! My whistle!"

"But," Miel shrieks when a part of the plank falls above her, "but you'll lose!"

"I DON'T CARE! WE'LL DIE!" You shout.

Miel was amazed at your conviction to save both of your lives. She was used to never backing down, after all dwarves never back down on a fight. Even if it ends up in death. The tiger slammed its body again and more debris fell above you. Miel searches for hers and when she gets it a large piece of plank falls and hits you in the head, losing your consciousness. You lie on the ground with blood pooling at your head. Outside, the tiger prepares to slam its body one last time, it draws back flexing its legs for the run.

_ PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT _

"The whistle!" Every last dwarrow in the audience rushed inside, "the whistle!! Bring them out!!" They shout. They run through the gates and subdue the tiger. 

Inside the planks, Miel pulls you close to her and cradles your head in her lap. She put pressure to your wound to stop the bleeding. When the planks above her shift, she squinted her eyes at the sun. The king rushed to her side looking down on you.

"(Y/n)!" He calls.

"She got hit in the head and lost consciousness, my king, that's why I blew the whistle" Miel says.

"You blew the whistle?" They ask.

"Aye. My king, I concede"

When you open your eyes later that day, first thing you notice is that you are nowhere outside Erebor anymore, second is that you have this head cracking headache. You sit up and touch your forehead. Instead of skin you feel this cloth like texture.  _ Bandage. _ A soft snore beside you caught your attention and see Thorin sleeping soundly on the chair beside your bed. You smile fondly at the sight and you stand. You take a blanket inside your drawer and cover your king up. Your hand trail down his chest and when he shift you pull your hand back.

"Mm. Dont stop," he says.

"Thorin! I didn't mean to wake you up"

He opens his eyes and looks at you, "why? Why does everytime you tried to save someone it's you who end up getting hurt"

"Thorin I-"

"You made me worried. I was so ready to jump down there and pull you out myself, I was ready to break tradition," he takes your hand to his, "I was wishing for you to blow your whistle," he whispers.

You realize the meaning of his confession. You realize that he was willing to lose you just to keep you safe.

"(Y/n)," he reach for your face and cares it, "you should stop-"

"No," you say immediately, "Thorin, I'm never going to give you up. I will have you, even if it kills me"

"Amrâlimê" he breathes like it's some kind of a prayer.

You pull his hand to your chest, "feel that, it is beating, my heart. I'm alive. And I won't stop. I won't, for my heart only beats for you"

He stands beside you. He cups your face and draws you in for a kiss. It's gentle and sweet and short. He pulls you in for a hug and he relaxes at your warmth. You enjoy the short moment you have with him when a pressing matter arises in your mind.

"Oh no" you say.

"What is it?" He pulls back looking at you with concern.

"I didn't make it out of that place" your voice full of worry, "oh god! Im out am I?"

Thorin chuckles and takes your hand to kiss it, "no, you're not. Didn't you listen to the instructions?"

"I did! If I couldn't make it out I get eliminated"

"No. It's if you didnt get out of the maze. In which you clearly did"

"Oh"

"Oh" he chuckles again.

"How did I get out of there?"

"Lady Miel blew her whistle. So we pull the both of you out"

_ Oh. _ "Lady Miel? How is she?"

"She's fine. But she had already left the kingdom for she have conceded" he hand you a paper from his pocket, "she left you a letter"

You take it and read it, 

_ Lady (y/n), _

_ First I would like to say that I admire your bravery for it is unparalleled to all of the dwarrowdam in all the kingdom and secondly how dare you leave me on my own against a beast, twice. If you ever think that a day will come that I will forget that then you are wrong! For I will forever cherish it. I will forever be at your debt. Your kindness has saved me and your own willingness to concede just to save us touched my heart.  _

_ For that I have conceded. I lost. And I lost to you, my queen. Go get that crown. _

_ Your loyal servant, _

_ Miel of Aglarond _

You put the letter down. Proud of what you did. Proud of the bond you created. Miel's warm words reach your heart and cover it like a thick blanket. You smile.

"It seems like a good letter," Thorin says.

"Oh yes, it is"

"Well then, I'll leave you to rest. Good night my lady" he smiles and heads for the door.

"Thorin, I'm glad I didn't blow that whistle" you say, "I glad I lost it" you grin.

"Yes. Me too"

"Good night Thorin"

"Good night (y/n)" and then Thorin left.


	5. Chapter 5

The whole courting shit is halted to give time for your healing. Oin said that you'll be good to go after a couple of days and advise you to rest so you didn't leave your room for a few days. Allia, your faithful and loving handmaid, was busy all those times to tend to your needs. Once the dizziness and the headaches are gone you start to make your own trip to the cellar for food or to the library to busy yourself. 

The night before the next test, after you dismissed Allia for the day and head out to fix your own food, you head down the cellar to pick some pastries and maybe get some vegetables so you could start that healthy living shit you've been planning on doing since last year. You bring with you a small lamp and skips your way down the stairs when you hear laughing from the cellar. That laugh is way too familiar to you that your heart skips a beat and you hurried down the stairs but stop as you hear another voice with it.

"My king, your choice is always excellent," a woman's voice says, obviously flirting.

"Not entirely, I just make sure to pick the best from all the options" Thorin says.

The dwarrowdam hums, "is that why you chose her to represent you my king?"

"Lady Helga,"  _ Helga?!  _ "I didn't chose her because she is the best-"

"So even you think that she's useless, politically speaking?"

You dim your lamp and slowly make your way down, peaking at them from the last step of the stairs. You see them standing in the corner with their back on you. Your heart beats faster, anticipating Thorin's answer.

"Aye. Politically speaking" he sighs, "but-"

"You're right my king. Not only that, she goes against our culture, our traditions," she placed her hand on his chest, "my king, I can give you more than she could offer you. My love, my body, my services"

Her hand travels upward cupping his face. Thorin didn't move under her hand and he let her trace his face. She stepped forward and drew her face near his. 

Thorin takes her hand, "Lady Helga, I-" 

"My king I do too," that bitch Helga breathes.

Helga closes the gap between them and kisses Thorin. You gasp a little loudly and drop the lamp which attracts their attention. Your head is spinning and you feel so numb, panic rises up inside you and you run away. You keep running until your feet are sore and you are out of breath. Your vision is getting blurry and hot tears soak down your face. You tried so hard to muffle your sobs to avoid unnecessary attention. You didn't know what to do or where to go, all you know is that you didn't want to be where you are right now. So you run again, out of Erebor, until your tired and sore feet reach Dale.

At night Dale is usually asleep except for a few spots where pubs thrives. You went inside one of it, ignoring the ruckus. You sit at the back, far away from other people, after all you didn't come here to mingle. 

Somebody approaches you and asks, "what you want love?"

"Mm? Alcohol, maybe? And some food, please" you say.

"Anything specific love?"

You shake your head, leaving the decision to her, "um, lots of alcohol"

On your normal days, you would refrain from alcohol since you're a lightweight. And drunk you is the version of yourself that you hate, mostly because you envy her for having no restrictions. When the food and the alcohol come, you drown on them. Bottles after bottles. Everything is a blur. And time seems to run faster when you're drunk. Next thing you know someone is dragging you out of the bar and the sun is hurting your eyes.

"Where are you bringing me?" You laugh, "oh please not back at that mountain," your hiccups starts.

"What do you think you're doing? Causing such a fray back there"

"Bard? Is that you?" You didn't know if you're slurring or not but in your head that is what you say.

"Come on. You need to sober up," Bard drags you back to his home and sits you in his armchair.

"Bard did you know bats use sonar to navigate in the dark," yes, drunk you love facts.

Bard sighs, "aren't you needed back at Erebor? Don't worry I sent my son to inform them about your whereabouts"

"No!" You sound so betrayed, Bard kneels beside you.

"What happened?" He asks.

"That bitch Helga happened" you laugh, "ah! Did you know peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite"

"I'll go get you coffee to sober up"

"But I don't wanna sober up," you say, "I want gummies"

"Gummies?!"

"Oh yes. Those little bear ones"

You raise your hand up and pretend like you're squishing one. At the same time Tauriel came bursting in the door.

"King Bard. I'm on my way back to Mirkwood, is everything you want to send my lord Thranduil ready?" She asks, her eyes grow big when she sees you, "what are you doing here?"

"Can I send Thranduil something too?" You ask back.

"She was drinking all night at the pub" Bard answers.

You stand and look for paper and pen. You stumble a bit (more like a lot and you even hit your head at the table) but you make your way flawlessly (nope) to Bard's table, you grab the nearest paper and write. After that you fold it and and gave it to Tauriel, "give my love to King Thranduil"

"What did you wrote?" She asks.

"Don't read it. It's an official letter"

"Are you allowed to write an official letter?

"Yes. I'm royal secretary" you stand and search the room, "everything I do is official," you find what you are looking for and grab it. You had a hard time uncorking it but once it's open you drink it straight from the bottle.

"Stop drinking!" Bard takes the bottle away from you, he looks at Tauriel, "go, I'll handle her. Everything is in the barracks," Tauriel leaves and Bard carries you up, "you are going to sleep" he says.

You groan and make a little protest. Bard set you down on his bed and dim the room,"you will never make me fall asleep" you say, but the moment those soft pillows and comfortable blankets touches you the urge to sleep hits you hard, "never" you whisper as you sleep.

Bard looks at your sleeping face with worry. He goes out and looks for a small bucket and places it beside the bed, he dampens the cloth and cleans your face. He fixes you a soup and some hot coffee. He storms the house and hides all the bottles of alcohol that Thranduil sent him. 

Hours later Allia, with Fili, came knocking in his door, "oh good you came," he greets.

"Where is she?" Allia asks.

Bard didn't answer but pointed to his room. Allia marches to the room and finds you snuggling a Bard's pillow.

"Lady (y/n)! What time do you think it is?!" Allia shouts.

"Easy, miss. I don't think you would want to wake her that way" Bard says.

"Easy? Whole mountain is looking for her" Fili says.

Allia opens all the windows and splashes water to your face, "I SAID WAKE UP!" 

"Mom my head hurts" you mumble.

Allia pulls you up, headaches stops you from opening your eyes.

"I made you soup," Bard offers.

"That won't be needed. Thank you King Bard" Allia drags you out with Fili behind the both of you.

"But I want soup," you mumble.

"I'm so sorry about this Bard. Just dont mention to anyone that she slept at your bed. Uncle will not like that" Fili says and Bard nods.

You ride a horse with Allia back to Erebor. You tried peeking under your lashes but the sun just aggravates your headache.

Back at Erebor, the dimness inside the mountain aids you in opening your eyes. Allia drags you back to your room and gives you food. Fili vanished once you reached the mountain (or maybe you just didn't notice him leaving).

"What do you think you're doing?" She asks.

"I was hurt. I drank," you look at her, "I'm sorry"

Allia sighs, "poor you. You want to talk about it?"

You shake your head and she nods. She sits beside you as you eat your food, "do you still want to do the test?" 

You nod. You actually don't want to anymore but you're too prideful to just let all of this go without a fight. So you sit quietly until sobs come from you. You cried again. Allia wraps her arms around you and hushes your sobs. She pats your head while whispering comforting words.

"Did you do anything stupid while you are drunk? Cause if you did I need to know before it bounced back to you" she says.

"No," you answer, "I don't remember"

"Good enough," she says.

When the sun sets, all noble dwarrowdams (including you) are called outside Erebor. What was a dome a few days back is now a big open area with several bamboo poles standing erect, with just the right amount of space in between them, in the middle. All those bamboo have a flag sticking out of it in the far end of it with the color white and red. Your head is still clouded with a hangover that you didn't even bother to look for Thorin in the audience. All you want that time is to sleep and eat and cry or all at once. You squint your eyes to the dwarrow who is explaining the rules and closes your eyes as the crowd cheers.

_ Get many flags, easy. _

At the sound of the trumpet the ordeal starts. All nobles (except you) rushed to each bamboo and saw them slide down.  _ Great, it's greased.  _ You fold your hand in front of you and watch all those dams make a fool out of themselves. One of them, you couldn't really see who,  _ oh its fucking Helga, _ grab knives and start her way up by sticking the knife on it,  _ oh she's fucking smart, _ other dams did as she does and you watch them struggle on their way up. You stand there on one side like one of the spectators and judge the participants on everything they do. Helga was already on her fourth flag when one of them, Lady Sidri, fell down nearly splitting the bamboo in half. 

_ Wait. Oh shit!  _ This is the part when you remember that you are one of the participants of the events.

You scramble around and search your options.  _ Swords? Nah. Flail? Wait seriously? Nope. Axe? Axe?!  _

You approach the dwarf and asks, "Master dwarf, can I borrow that"

The dwarf kindly gave you his axe and you marched down the field. You look up.  _ Six more left.  _ And you start working.

You swing the axe and in one motion and a bamboo starts going down, "timber!" You cut down three, four more and retrieve the flags on it. The last bamboo with a flag is riddled with parasite (when you say parasite you mean Helga and the weird way she climbs). You await her to nearly reach the top and you swing sending the bamboo down with her. It hit her hard that she stayed down and you retrieve your last flag.

This time you scan the audience, who is both stun in amazement and rowdy, for Thorin. When you see him your eyes met. You wave the flag to him, "ciao, adios!" You shouted and threw the flag in his direction. You turn and head to the mountain. 

_ Back to the room then. _

You hurried back to your room, you feel it just coming up to you. And once you're back you went straight to the bathroom and into the toilet your head goes. You vomit all the food that you consumpt earlier. A few moments later you hear the door to your room closed.

"Allia? I feel so bad" you call out but no answer came. A hand collects your hair and helps you as you vomit again. "God, I'm never drinking again," you say. When no answer came again you turn your head to see Allia but it turns out it was Thorin. 

"Aye. I wish you would never again" he says. His expression is unreadable. "Where were you?" He asks in a low tone.

"Here and there," you spat back.

"(Y/n), what do you think you are doing? Disappearing like that? And worst shaming Lady Helga?" He asks calmly but with a dangerously low voice.

"Oh wow. Sorry if I hurted your lady!"

"What you did is immature and childish! What did she even do to you?"

"You didn't know?! You seriously didn't know?" This is the point where you are actually screaming at him.

"I didn't. That's why I'm asking!" His voice matches your tone.

You are so angry your fist trembles at your sides, "it isn't immature nor childish" you say with a trembling voice, "I was hurt"

"Hurt or not you should have done it! You-"

"Embarrass you?" You ask. Thorin looks at you with contempt. "I'm sorry if it made you feel that way. But I'm not gonna apologise for the things I did when I was hurt. I know it's unjustifiable. But I am entitled to this rage"

"You-!" He stops himself.

"Thorin, once you feel what I felt. I won't hold anything you do against you too"

Thorin snaps and hits the wall. He hurted you and he didn't even know it. You raise from the floor and look at him, "Thorin, do you love me?" You ask.

You know he does. But he didn't answer. 

You match his gaze, you decided to make him feel the jealousy you felt. "Good," you say, "cause I slept with Bard"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. Sorry about that. I tried hahahaha


	6. Chapter 6

Range of emotion flickers in his eyes and he grabs you on the shoulder and pins you on the wall. For a moment you were scared of him but the anger you feel won over you.

"What. Did. You. Say?" He growls.

"You heard me" you whisper.  _ Yes, yes just like that. _

He grips your shoulder too hard that it'll probably leave bruises. He stares you down but you just stare back at him, not giving up. A growl escapes his lips again and he looks at you from your head down to your feet.

_ Good be angry. _

You being angry makes you irrational. Like now, what you just did could cause war between Erebor and Dale or how that lie could have affected your relationship with him. But anger isn't wrong. Anger is the representation that deep down we know life treated us badly (or well, somebody did us badly). What's wrong is acting out on anger. That is where trouble begins.

You wonder how much self control he has, being this angry and still not hurting you (beside his grip on your shoulder). You expect him to trash everything in the bathroom by now or atleast hit you once. But he didn't. He just glowers at you.

"Thorin, I won't hold it against you" you whisper.

"You. Are. MINE!" He growls again and drags you back to the room. His grip in your arms is as hard as his grip on your shoulder. It took your everything not to wince in pain. He throws you to the bed and binds your hand above you. Thorin starts by biting and sucking on your collarbone and neck then he rips your top revealing you bosom, "MINE!" He says as he fondles your breast roughly and bit your nipples hard. You gasp at how it hurts and tears start to pool in your eyes. He raises the helm of your dress as he unbuckles his belt and lines himself in your entrance.

You tried to submit to him. But the pain is too intense and the fear inside you grows. You started panicking. The resolution you once had are gone now. 

"Thorin wait! I haven't.." you squirm underneath him. Eyes crying, "please, stop." You beg.

He pushes you down but stops, "but you are mine! This is mine!" 

"I know. I'm sorry. That was stupid. I lied. I couldn't have. Not if it's not you" you sobs.

The realization of what almost happened comes crashing to him. He looks down on you and groans at his own stupidity. He fixed himself and then fixed you. He unbinds you and rummages the closet for your clothes. He threw a dress at you and faced the other way. You change into the new dress and leave the one that he destroyed on the ground.

Neither one of you breaks the silence, but you know that an apology is due.

"I'm sorry" you say.

"No, (y/n), it's I who should have apologized," he says, "I was angry and-"

"No Thorin, I told you I won't hold it against you. I'm sorry" you pause, you know what you did is unforgivable, "for lying"

He turns around facing you, hurt evident on his face, "but why?"

"To prove a point"

Thorin looks at you. And he realized that it was you who saw them yesterday at the cellar. That he unknowingly inflicted pain on you. He walks toward you. He reaches for your hand but stops. Instead he asks for it.

You give him your hand and he kisses it, "Im sorry amrâlimê. I'm so sorry"

"I know. Im sorry too" you cup his face and he leans into your touch, "let's just forget about it," you smile. You trace the side of his face and graze your thumb on his lips. The image of Helga kissing him pops into your head, "you know what let's clean that lips of yours"

You lean in and kiss him. The kiss wasn't rushed, wasn't rough, it was gentle and sweet and lovingly. Thorin deepens the kiss and bite your lip.

"Ow! What was that for?" You ask.

"That's for lying," he says. He catches your mouth again and kisses you. You moan into his kiss and you felt him smile. His hands wander down and cups your ass. He pulls you and grinds on you. When you felt his erection you couldn't help but moan again. 

"Thorin" you moan. He kisses your cheeks and your jaw and your neck. Your legs gave up on you and if it wast for him you probably fell on the floor already.

He chuckles, "you should go to bed already"

"Stay" you say.

"That's the plan, my lady" he lifts you up and brings you to the bed. He lays you down while he crashes above you with his head on your chest.

"As much as I like this position, I would appreciate it more if I was the one above you" you say.

He hums, "and what? Escape from me and sleep with another man again? I'm not risking it"

"I didnt! You were the one kissing another woman!" 

"I thought we agree to just forget about it?" 

"You! You bastard!" He laughs at that as you yawn, "so, you think I'm useless. That was very thoughtful of you," you say.

"I was trying to defend you," he explains, "to tell her that I didn't want you for what you could offer the kingdom but for what you could offer me. Your smile, your affection, your love. You do things to me that no word could ever explain. Whenever I'm with you the sun is always brighter, the air always smells like cinnamon, and the birds always sing. Forgive me, my lady, I take full responsibility for the misunderstanding we had," he takes your hand and places a soft kiss on it. 

You cradle his face and kiss him, "if you think I'll forgive you that easily, then you're right. I'm so in love with you that I can't stay mad at you," you said coyly and laughed. 

He kisses your forehead and whispers in your ear, "you are the love of my life, my one." You fall asleep to his warmth while he on your heartbeat.

You wake up later with the sun still hasn't come out and with Thorin watching you. You chuckle, "did you watch me sleep the whole night?"

"No. But I did braid your hair," you reach for your hair and felt his masterpiece on the side of your head, "I hope you don't mind"

"Awesome. Thanks. I honestly suck at braiding"

"Well you can practice with mine if you would like," he smiles, "but for the meantime, I have to go back. They will look for me"

You nod, "yeah, don't let me keep you from your duties, my king," you chuckle, "oh! And yeah, I look forward to that braiding lessons"

Thorin blushed at what you said. He kisses your forehead and leaves. While you, you snuggle back to your bed and sleep again. The next time you woke up it was Allia who was there in the room with you.

"Good morning!" You greets.

"Aye. It is my lady," she placed your food in front of you. Breakfast with everybody is one of the things you miss, as a representative, all your needs are brought to your room, including meals. 

Allia spots your braid and asks, "did you do that?"

"Oh this? No, Thorin did"

She gasps.

"He did it when I was asleep. He's good isn't he"

"My lady do you know what braiding means?" 

You shrug and you bite into your bread.

"In our culture it is as intimate as having sex" 

You choke on your food and reach for the cup of water, "what?!"

"It's an act married dwarrows do" she continues.

"But he did it when I was asleep!" You exclaim.

"Uh-huh" she says as she gives you a knowing look and laugh at you, "you're hopeless my lady"

"Yeah? Like you aren't?" You snap back and roll your eyes.

"No I'm not. Braiding is sacred" she continues, still laughing.

"Ah enough teasing me! What am I supposed to do today?"

"Oh today! Today's event will happen inside the mountain" she said as she pushed a letter to you.

You open it and reads,

_ My lady (y/n), _

_ Greetings!  _

_ For this test the king looks for something of his own. Find it and bring it back before the sun sets today!  _

_ Good luck! _

You flip the letter for more but that's just it.  _ The fuck? _

"What did he misplace now?" You ask.

"Can I read my lady?" You hand her the letter and just like you she ends up confused, "what are they looking for?" 

"I have no idea," you says, "but thinking about it he is king, everything here is his"

"I highly doubt it. Erebor belongs to all the dwarves"

You nod, "something personal then?"

"Maybe, but like what?"

"I don't know. His pen? Or maybe his comb?"

Allia laughed, "aye, something like a comb maybe. But its too personal to lose"

"Do you think you could ask Fili?"

"I could, would you want me to do so my lady?"

You thought about it for a moment, "mm, tempting, but no. I don't want you two getting caught" 

If you are some other nobles you would probably ask inquiries but you aren't. This is Thorin. You've been with him the longest compared to the other nobles. What is it that he was looking for?

What Bofur told you before pops into your head,  _ Don't fret, the king made sure you get all the help you need. _

_ What is it then? What is it that I need to find? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not story related:
> 
> I still cant believe that ts release a suprise album Im sobbing


	7. Chapter 7

You and Allia roam the great forges looking for something, anything! You search door to door and halls after halls. Outside the sun shines already directly above the ground. Your time is ticking. You wonder if you could just barge through there and just present some random item but thats too stupid.  _ Have the other nobles found the item already? Is there even an item? _

"My lady how are we going to find something if we don't even know what it is?" Allia asks.

"I have no idea," you answer, "my feet are sore"

"A quick fix of lunch could help then" Allia says, "go ahead and I'll bring it to you"

As she goes you grab her by the arms, "wait, I'll come with you"

The both of you head to the cellar to find something to fix for your stomach. You've been eating so much bread these past few days that you cringe at the sight of it. Allia brought fresh fish when she came back asking if you would want it, you nod and told her that she should head along to the kitchen while you decide which fruit to eat with it. Allia disappears as soon as you dismiss her, you round the pile of fruits looking for something you might like. There are a few pieces of plum on the table and you take it and place it in a small pouch. Voices came from the entrance of the cellar and you hide behind one of the pillars that helps support the ceiling. You peek behind and see three familiar faces, the tres juanitos of the council, as you call them, but they are also known to you as Helga's uncle.

They're chattering around, "how bad is the alliance with the neighbor?" The one in red asks.

"So bad lad. I am with the king for not mending that discord but lads if I were king I would have just waged war with them," the one in silver said, out of all the council members he's the one you hated the most. Always plotting.

"Aye. We dwarves could take em" the one in green says. This is their usual pattern of conversation, red will ask, silver will answer, and green will agree to anything silver says.

"What do you think of (y/n)? Do you think she has a chance?" The one in red asks again. 

"Nay, she could win hearts of the dwarrows but hearts can't help us if a war broke. Beside all other kingdoms are already in favor of our little Helga. Nothing a simple bribery can't fix" 

"Aye, nothing is!" The one in green agrees. 

"How about for today's test? Have you fixed it?"

"Aye. I already took care of it, made sure that tramp wont get one, by the end of the day only three of them will be left. And I chose those that our Helga could easily defeat" 

"Goodness brother, always a genius!"

You gasp at the information you've just received. You thought this whole courting shits is just up to you but no, hands move in the shadow. The guilt you feel whenever Thorin lent you a hand has no meaning now. After the three of them left, you hurried to the kitchen where Allia is.

"Allia! Allia!" You shouts as you approach her, "you won't believe what I heard"

"What?! What is it?!" Matching you in your panic.

"Apparently Helga has her uncles helping her. And to think that I got guilty asking for help! Dammit!"

"Well, isn't this something that you already expect, my lady?"

"Yes! But it still frustrates me that she did that!"

"Okay calm down, my lady"

"I can't calm down. Those three idiots have already decided who they want to advance on this test!" In your anger you smash a clay cup in your hands and instantly regret it when a sharp piece pierce through your palm, "ow! Dammit! Stupid stupid cup!"

"Oh mahal!" Allia takes your hand and assess it, "I could take the piece out but that will need stitching, my lady"

"What? I have no time for stitches! I need to talk to Balin"

"But it could get infected!" 

You jerk your hand back and hide it from her, "no!"

"My lady, stop that!" 

The both of you wrestle inside the kitchen. Other dwarrows eyed you with concern but didn't intervene. You tried so hard to keep your hand from Allia that you toss and turn around and eventually bump her toward the pot that she's been cooking.

"Allia watch out!" You push her away from the contents of it and you're the one who ends up getting drenched.

"Lady (y/n)!" Allia dampens a clean cloth and wipes your skin, cooling the burn. "Now we go to the infirmary" she says and you nod.

At the infirmary Oin tends to your burns, placing ointments to ease it. He removed the piece of clay from your palm and you wince at the pain. He starts stitching it and covers it with a bandage. He point at your shoulder, to your bruises, "did that came from the pot?"

You blush at that and cover it with your hand, "no. Its something else"

"I see, be careful lass. It seems unfortune tends to stick with you," you nod, "and make sure you reapply the medicine every now and then"

"We'll do" Allia says. 

Oin leaves you to yourselves and heads back to his table grinding herbs. You sigh.  _ Unfortune indeed tends to stick with me. _

"Come along, my lady. Lets get you change" 

The both of you head back to your chamber. Allia helps you out of your clothes and washes your hair, taking extra care of your precious braid, as you relax your body in the tub. You miss your own spring,  _ I bet the spring will help better with my burns _ . Honestly the burns aren't that bad, just minor one. A few blisters here and there and more on the redness of the skin.

"Im fucked aren't I?" You ask.

"Don't say that, my lady, if Helga has his uncles, you have the king," she says.

You groan and submerge yourself, you stick your injured hand out to avoid it getting wet. After you bathe Allia helps you to dress and you slump back in your bed.

"It's useless," you laugh defeatedly.

"It's not, my lady" Allia reassures, "you better prepare. It'll be sunset soon"

You sigh, you didn't really want to go, you didn't even want to leave the bed but Allia persistently pulled you out and prepared you. She decorates you with jewelry after jewelry that you felt like she's dressing you for your funeral. She combs your hair and decorates your hair with a pin. Somebody knocks on the door and Allia opens it.

"You look stunning lass," Dori says.

"Yes. I should be, at least I lose with style" you say. Allia gave you a look and you just shrug.

"Don't be gloomy lass, there's always hope," Dori escorts you to the great hall. The stone chairs where you sat once before at the beginning of the courtship are still there and you sit at the far end. 

When all the nobles have gathered, two of the chairs are visible empty. One for Lady Miel and the other for Lady Sidri (who got eliminated last time). You run your uninjured hand to the chair,  _ ah! My last time sitting here. _

Trumpets announce the arrival of the king and you look at him as he sits in front,  _ forgive my love. I tried. I really did. _ You clench your hands until you feel the stitches coming off and blood staining the bandage. Hot tears drip from your eyes to your palms. You're about to break down but stop yourself in fear of embarrassing yourself even more.  _ Shame on me for thinking I could win this.  _ So you brush it off and give them your best poker face (cause clearly at this point smiling just hurts you even more). You look around, you see two other dams wear the same expresion you had earlier. You reach out to the one closest you and pat her at the back giving her a knowing look in which she just nods.

And the presentation of what ever the fuck they're looking for starts. Lady Klosh from the other side was called and she steps forward. You look down and stare at the floor as she place the item down on the circle table in the middle.  _ Maybe I should have brought something, you know, to show that I did try. _ Next was Lady Fian. And next was Lady Helga. After her, all three of them giggle and congratulate each other. You roll your eyes and continue staring at the floor. The next dam was Lady Thelma who steps in front and cried. 

"I am sorry, my lord. I looked everywhere and I found nothing. My feet are sore, my hands are dirty. But there is none!" She exclaims.

"You're right, everywhere in the kingdom you won't find it. For it is hidden well in your own chamber while you slept last night," one of the councilmen explains.

You jerk your head up.  _ Chamber? Shit! Of course, why the hell would they make the nobles run around!  _ You look at Allia from the spectator and she was as surprised as you.  _ Goddammit! Even if I were to look there, Helga's uncles probably took it already.  _ You sink back at your chair and hide behind your hands.

"Dammit!" You mutter.

Next was the dam beside you and like Lady Thelma, she cried and apologized too. The king dismissed her and it was your turn next. You stand and walk in the middle. You couldn't even look at Thorin so you decide to look at the far distance.

"My king, I," you begin but the damn dress is irritating your burns so you squirm in front of everyone. 

"What happened to your hand lass?" Balin asks.

You quickly hide it behind you, "nothing"

Worry sweeps over his eyes and when you look at the king he wears the same expression. You sigh, your eyes drop down to the table where the other dams placed theirs. And you see it. The thing you've been searching for this whole day. Nobody really can blame you for not realizing it earlier because you really thought what you are looking for is something bigger, something as big as a comb. You laugh in front of everybody. Like a full blown hysterical laugh.

"Oh my god! All this time!" You exclaim.

You reach for your hair and feel the braid. Your hand traces it down until it reaches the bead at the end. And then you pull it. You look at it dearly and place it at the table where the other three were. And you laugh again as you walk back to your chair. 

_ All those running around, getting stabbed, and burned! All of that for something I ALREADY HAD! _

Part of you wants to strangle Thorin to death for not telling you but part of you also wants to strangle him in bed for saving your ass. 

The council member checks the bead and announces something. You feel giddy that everything they've said just runs past over your head. You eyed Helga's uncles and found them looking back at you. You smirk at them, showing them that you know, you know about what they've done and it will reach the king. They panicked and disappeared at the back of the hall.  _ Yeah run away bitches! _

You look back to Allia who gave you a big smile. You look over at Thorin and he gives you a knowing look.  _ Ah! You ass. _ He knew! He knew you would look for that damn bead. He knew you would enter empty handed. You beam at him and bow your head at him.

When the announcement finishes, you are all dismissed. You want to approach the king and thank him personally but the council swarm around him.  _ There will be plenty of time to thank him later.  _ You head out of the great hall and Allia greets you as soon as you're out.

"That was great my lady! Who would have thought!" Allia claps her hands.

"Yeah. I thought for a moment there I would be eliminated" you say. The both of you are laughing when someone clears their throat.

"Laugh all you want. For this will be the last time you will" Helga says threatenly, "(y/n), the king is mine"

"Who says?" You ask, "I don't think the king belongs to somebody in particular. He is his own dwarf Helga, and he belongs to the dwarves of Erebor"

Helga hiss at you and stomp her foot, "you will lose! There is no chance for you to win the next test!" Helga laugh, "tomorrow whe-"

"Oh my. How would you have known of the test if it hasn't been announced yet?" Helga was taken aback, "did your uncles spoiled you again, little Helga?"

Helga rushes to you and she raises her arm to slap you. You stand your ground and as she swings her arm down a hand stops her. Allia stands between the both of you, "hurt her and I tell you, this will not go unheard of" she pushes her hand away.

"You little!" Helga hiss.

"Enough Helga. Why don't we just reserve our energy for the next test" you intervene, "chill girl!"

Helga stomps her way back and you and Allia laugh, "nice one!" You raise a hand to high five her and she slam your hand, both of you forgetting it's injured. "Ow!" 

"Oh! Im so sorry my lady"

"It's ok. Im fine, Im fine," you check the hand and the bandage is already soaked in blood, "nope, not fine. Not fine at all!" 

The both of you rush back to the infirmary to have your hand restitched. Allia stays at your side while Oin grumbles at how reckless you are letting your stitches loose. You just smiles at him as he finishes it up.

Deep down inside you something worries at what Helga told you.  _ How is she so sure that I would lose? What did she know? Ah, shit. I should have let her finish talking earlier.  _ You want to slap yourself at the head but Oin's grip at your dominant hand is so hard that it stops you from pulling it back. So you settle at doing it internally.

_ Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd here it isss!! TADA!


	8. Chapter 8

Early in the morning you hear the door from the other dams' room opens and closes a lot of time. You turn in your bed and cover your ears with your pillows and to no avail you groan and give up. You peak out of the door and see the chambermaids going to and fro. 

You call one that passes at your door, "hey! What is happening?" You ask.

"My lady. Lords from Belegost and Nogrod are to visit today," she answers.

"Oh. I see. What for?" You ask again.

"Haven't you read the letter my lady?"

"Letter?" You ponder, "yeah, I haven't yet. Anyway, thanks!" You dismiss her and she goes back to her erand.

_ Now, where is Allia? _

You dress up for the day and search the room for a letter. When there is none, you slip out of your door to look for Allia.  _ Well breakfast hasn't come, so the kitchen maybe.  _ You head to the kitchen and search but found no sign of her.  _ Cellar?  _ You head to the cellar and find no sign of her too. You wander around looking for her. You head to the stable and hear her giggling.

"Allia!" You shouts and found her kissing Fili in the corner. You startle both of them and in panic, you raise a thumbs up on them (you didn't even know what that was for) and turn around to give them privacy. "Im sorry," you say.

"My lady!" Allia exclaim while Fili laughs, "I'm sorry I was-"

"It's okay. It's okay," you interrupt, "I just got worried. And you know, I heard there was a letter.

"Oh yes!" She taps you on the shoulder and you face them.

You look at Fili, "so sorry, again" you say.

"It's alright (y/n)," he kisses Allia in the cheeks, "I better get back" and he left the both of you.

"I am so sorry" you apologize again to Allia.

"It's nothing my lady, after all we need to get back to our jobs," she clears her throat, "oh the letter," she produced the letter from her pocket and gave it to you.

You open it immediately and reads,

_ My lady (y/n), _

_ Greetings!  _

_ This test is where you can show your contribution to the whole Erebor. For this test, show the king and the whole Erebor your importance by showing us the alliance you can provide. Your contribution is expected at noon. And an after party will be held to welcome all parties. _

_ Good luck! _

You stare at it,  _ fuck! _

"It's a goddamn political test!" You shriek. You crumble the letter in your hand and throw it far away.

Allia gasps as she rushes to the paper and picks it up. And gasps again when she reads it.

"Dammit! Dammit! That's why Helga was so smug yesterday!" You groan.

"What do we do my lady?" Allia asks.

"I don't know! Oh god! Where will I get an army to help me on this one" you snap. You take in a few breaths calming yourself, "let's set our priorities. First, breakfast!"

The both of you head to the cellar where you nibble on all the sweet mini tarts they have. Allia made you coffee and you drink it in one go. Once you're full you head back to your room eyeing all the other chambermaids making them avoid you as you walk back. Once inside the room you panic.

"What do I do?!" You scream.

"I don't know my lady!" Allia, who is also panicking, matches your tone.

"Don't shout at me," you say.

"Im sorry, I didn't mean too my lady"

You groan. This is something even Thorin can't help you. You wonder if that's why you haven't seen him since yesterday after the trial.  _ No, you can't always depend on him.  _

Then a light bulb flickers open in your mind, "Bard!"

"Bard? King Bard!" Allia clasp her hands, "I'll go make preparations"

You both rush to the stable and head to Dale. At daytime Dale is a busy town. Crowds gathering at the market, the smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls on the air, children laughing and running around. The once desolated place is now thriving. On a normal day that is what you'll expect to see, but today is different. The usually crowded market where you can stroll is now jam-pack with people and everyone is cheering. You and Allia are too small to see what is beyond this crowd so you push yourselves to get in the middle of the commotion where you are welcomed with the sight of woodland elves distributing goods to the people of Dale.

_ Does Thranduil often do this? _

"Oh! Maybe Tauriel is back," Allia pulls you toward the mayoral office and is greeted by Kili who is leaning on the door.

"Lovely day isnt it," he greets.

"Kili! Is Tauriel in?" You ask.

"Aye, she is. But she is in a meeting with the kings" he answers.

"Kings? Like plural?" You ask again.

"Aye, so far both Bard the dragon slayer and Thranduil are kings. Unless one of them is no longer one," he says.

"Oh,"  _ oh indeed.  _

The last time you heard of Thranduil was many moons ago after the battle of the five armies. After that you know that he and Bard kept in touch but he never visits. This would be the first occasion and you have no idea why.  _ Does Thorin even know? _

Not knowing what to do, you waited with Kili outside and after some time the door burst open and a smiling Tauriel came out.

"Ah! Saves me the trouble," she says. You look at her confused and she approach you, "my Lord Thranduil requires your presence"

You stare at her, "but why?" You ask.

"I have no idea, you probably did something bad," she sings as she ushers you inside, Kili and Allia behind her.

Inside Bard sits in his normal wooden chair behind his desk while Thranduil sits in his own grand wooden chair that they probably brought with them (because you know Thranduil won't just sit anywhere). Bard welcomes you and you sit in the chair opposite the elvenking.

"This is… different" you mutter. You can usually hold your ground in front of Thorin or Bard but something is so intimidating with Thranduil that being in his mere presence is so uncomfortable for you (probably its because the last time you saw him in Mirkwood he imprison you along with the dwarves and thank goodness for Bilbo for coming to your rescue).

"Yes it is," Thranduil says, "I rarely like leaving my throne, but for this letter I travel here just so I could greet you"

You peek under your lashes as he shows everyone a piece of paper. He hands it to you and you read it.

_ My dearest Lord Thranduil, _

_ Fuck Thorin.  _

_ He can go and flirt with everyone in the kingdom and I wouldn't even care. No, actually I would. And it hurts so bad so fuck him. I would really want to slap him to tomorrow, but that would be treason. I guess I could say that this letter is a form of treason too. But who cares! As long as nobody knows right? _

_ Ps. Fuck you too for imprisoning us. And fuck Thorin for flirting with Helga. _

_ The royal secretary of the king under the mountain, _

_ Lady (y/n) _

Cold sweats drip down your face and you look up to meet Thranduil's gaze. You want to deny this but your name is written there in black ink. You rack your brain as to when you wrote this and it occured to you. You sigh, "my lord. I was drunk when I wrote this''

"Much better!" Thranduil says, "for alcohol reveals the true personality of a person"

"What is written there?" Bard asks and reaches for the paper.

You jerk your hand away and made an attempt to crumple it but Thranduil snatches the paper and folds it properly, "it is none of your business King Bard just as your letters to me are none to her"

The both of them look at each other and a passing agreement happens. Bard nods and clears his throat, "I was telling Lord Thranduil here that you joined the courting of the king"

"Ah yes! I did" you say.

"How is it working for you?" Thranduil asks.

"Oh! Surprisingly good" you feel like you're in an awkward reunion where your aunts keep on asking you about your life.

"And the problems in your letter were resolved?" He asks again.

"Oh yes. It was," you answer.

"Very well then. This letter amused me and I felt obligated to know what happens afterward. So here I am" Thranduil waves the letter in the air, "you amuses me"

You look over to Tauriel and the others and they just shrug then you look back to Thranduil and laugh nervously, "is that so my lord?" 

"Yes! Yes. Its not everyday you'll receive a letter like that" he says.

You nod at what he said and you stare back at him, "thank you, my lord"

Allia clears her throat and whisper to you, "ask for help"

"Yes but-"

"What is it?" Thranduil asks in a booming voice.

"Ohoho! Nothing much my lord" if you felt awkward earlier now you feel utterly scared, "it's just about the courting and you know" you whisper.

"What?" Bard asks.

"Its a political test. They want the nobles to present allies that could help Erebor in the future," Kili answers, "uncle is really worried about you on this one. It's something he can't help you with," he says to you.

You sink to your chair and sigh, "yes. Unfortunately, I need your help Bard"

"Is that it?" Bard asks.

Thranduil chuckles, "wouldn't it be fun if I were to help too. Say no more, Lady (y/n). For I am willing to lend you an army just to see that dwarf's face"

You want to say that the help you seek is only from Bard but having the elves by your side too is truly a gain for Erebor. The only problem is, you dont know how your king will react to it.

"The people of Dale look up to the king under the mountain. My people will always be at your aid. But a good alliance can only happen if there is good communication. And you are the one who provided us that, not those other nobles," Bard nods to you, "Dale will always be at your service"

You went from having none to having both the elvenking and the king of Dale. Your eyes tear up a little at how lucky you are at the moment. You stand and bow your head at the two kings, "I am eternally grateful at your help"

"When will the presentation start?" Bard asks.

"Noon sir, and we will hold a celebration for your visitation afterwards," Allia answers.

"That's it then, Tauriel make preparations. We'll head to the mountain at noon" Thranduil orders. Tauriel nods and leaves.

Bard will make some preparations too so you head back to the mountain with just Allia and Kili. Kili goes with his brother when you bump into Fili who is busy arranging the great hall. While you and Allia head back to your chamber and start preparing. Allia robes you up with golden silk, decorated you with jewelries, and fixed your hair with loose braid.

A knock came from the door and you prepared yourself for the coming ordeal.

"Come in!" You say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it ❤❤


	9. Chapter 9

Gloin came barging in your door, "aye lass, are you ready?" He asks.

You nod.

He escorts you to the great hall and whispers to your ears, "fret not lassie. The whole company stands with you" he winks.

"Thank you, Gloin" you say.

Once inside the great hall you are usher to your chair, you look around. Lady Klosh and Lady Fian look a little under the weather, well who wouldn't if your only hope of winning this was stolen to you. You look over to Helga, who is sitting beside you, and see her wears a smug look. Having all the seven kingdoms supports her gave her all the advantage. 

The trumpet announced the arrival of the king and the council members. They silence everyone and the herald went on starting the ordeal.

"Today we celebrate friendship and alliance and let these dwarrowdams strengthen what we already have!"

The crowd cheers. The four of you are asked to stand up and to present your alliance.

"My king, I present you the Lord of Nogrod," as Lady Klosh said a proud dwarf walks in the great hall and bows his head to the king. 

"King Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. I came on behalf of my fellow dwarrows to offer you my eternal service" the Lord of Nogrod says. 

Lady Klosh sat back to her chair and the Lord was offered a chair beside her. Next is Lady Fian.

"I, my king, personally offer to the whole Erebor the Lord of Belegost" just like the Lord of Nogrod, the Lord of Belegost walks in and greets the king.

"Oh noble king under the mountain. I offer you my eternal services" he says.

Next is Lady Helga, she smirks at you and says, "my king, I offer you all of Erebor and the other six kingdoms!" Someone from the crowd gasp at what she said, "may your alliance with all the dwarrows be strengthen through me"

The crowd clap and cheer for her, Helga sits back proudly and you are left standing. You clears your throat to silence everybody but when they didn't Thorin took pity on you and silenced everybody.

"My king," you starts, "I have no army of dwarves with me but I have your bravest and most loyal companion on my back," Bofur, Dori and Ori cheers for you from the crowd while Helga laughs at you and you stare her down, "and I also have Bard the dragon slayer, King of Dale, and the elvenking on my side today" you say proudly.

A few dwarrow in the audience gasp. They probably expect you to have the King of Dale but not the elvenking. And on cue, Bard and Thranduil walked in but none of them bowed to Thorin.

"All hail the king under the mountain!" Bard says.

"All hail indeed" Thranduil says.

"What are you doing here elf?" Thorin asks.

"I came here to pledge my alliance" 

"What made you think that I will trust you?" Thorin asks again.

"Nothing. For I am not pledging it to you but instead to her" Thranduil points at you, "you can not trust me and I will never trust you. But her," both Thranduil and Thorin looks at you, "to her whom both our trust lies"

"Why would we need your help?" Someone from the crowd asks.

"Why would you indeed? Your king travels far from the west with only twelve dwarves, a halfling, and this woman. Where were you?" He asks the crowd, "and when they've invaded the mountain and awaken the beast who killed it? And when the orcs attack who saves your king? Are you even present at those events? No! You were all sitting in your mountain far in the west!" 

Everyone was silent at his word, looking down.

"King Thorin, alliance with your kin is undoubtedly good for your people, but if a war is to happen the first people you can count on for help are your neighbors," Bard says.

You look at Thorin and you see him weigh everything, "will I have your word?"

"The people of Dale are at your service," Bard says.

"No," Thranduil says, "but she does"

You sit back at your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose,  _ children! They're all children! _

After the ordeal the celebration starts, Bard and Thranduil head back to Dale and bid you farewell. They told you that they enjoy a more private party than this one (probably the both of them drinking alone in Bard's home). The party is as wild as the one before and since you're not one into parties, you look for a place where you could hide and settle down at the cellar. You sit at the corner and open a bottle of wine. You look around for a cup or something to help you drink it but found nothing so you just drank from the bottle. Dwarrows come and go but they pay you no attention. You nimble on the berries near you and ponders on things. Your mind first drifts home, your studio type apartment where clothes lie on the ground and your unmade bed, you try to remember what was the last thing you were working on on your desk before you got sucked into this world. Reading? Yes definitely. But you are doing something else aside from that.  _ Ah! Sketching. I was trying to sketch landscapes that night.  _ You were trying to sketch it from memory since you live in the heart of the city. Then you remember when you first came to this world. Then when you first laid eyes on him. On Thorin.

You take a gulp on the wine and eat more berries. You wonder if they'll look for you and then you wish not. The last time Erebor held a party you are lucky to be busy organizing, but now, you are part of the reason for this party.

Singing echoes from above and you hum with it. You start to sway to the rhythm and soon you are dancing on the floor. Admittedly, you are not much of a dancer and you would refuse to dance in front of anyone, but right now you dance like you're in the showers, shameless, while you drink from the bottle on your left and eat berries with your right.

Someone clears their throat behind you and you turn around too fast that you twist your ankle making you fall behind. 

"Ow!" Strong hands catch you before you land on the ground and hurt yourself more. "My king!"

"Always so careless," Thorins says as he sits you back at the floor. His hands travel down to your ankle and inspect it. 

"Nah. It's probably nothing. Just a sprain" you dismiss.

"Aye," he produce a handkerchief from his pocket and wraps it to your ankle, "but you shouldn't just dismiss it like its nothing"

You look at him as he massages your ankle, "why does the king visit the cellar when his party goes on above?"

"I was looking for my dam," he looks at you, "how can I have fun up there when my happiness is missing?"

You hums, "its rude for the host of the party to leave his guest unattended"

"Not if they wont find out. Besides Bofur can keep them entertained," you chuckle at what he said and he continues, "what are you doing hiding down here?"

"I'm not good with crowds. I had enough attention from everybody for today" you answer.

"I hope I don't belong to  _ everybody, _ " he says.

You shake your head, "no, you don't. You're too special for  _ everybody _ "

He sits beside you and you lean your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm on you and gently takes your injured hand to his lips and kiss it, "always so careless"

You want to tell him that you're not and that it's just a minor wound when you remember that you don't just have an injured hand but also an injured foot and a little burn injury on your body then you realize that maybe he was right. 

"Yes. Yes, I'm so careless. Make you think how I survived this long without proper supervision," you say as you move your hand from his lips to caress his face.

"I wonder, indeed. Makes me want to keep you within an arm's reach," he nuzzle close to you and kiss you in your head, "and have you always on my sight"

You chuckle, "yeah I'd like that too"

"(Y/n)," he looks at you, "yo-" he was cut off by some drunk dwarrows who made their way to the cellar.

You pull him behind the barrels of rum as the both of you listen to the slurs of the drunks.

"That mead was good. Shame it runs out," one of them says.

"It didn't! We just simply have to *hic* have to.." the second pauses, "what are we doing again?"

"I have no idea"

You chuckle at the two dwarves but Thorin hushes you. He pulls you close to his body as you both hide.

"Do you think they've heard?" You whisper.

He shakes his head. The space you are hiding is restricting most of your movements. You are sandwiched between Thorin and the barrels and whenever you look up his face is just an inch away. You feel his hand trace your lower back and cup your ass and gasp. He dips down and kisses your open mouth and soon enough you are melting in his kisses. He slips a tongue inside your mouth and deepens the kiss. Your knees weaken but he grips on you to keep you up. He slid a leg in between yours and grinds it on you. You moan in his kiss and he swallows it. 

He breaks from the kiss and whispers, "try not to make a sound," as he kisses down to your jaw and to your neck.

You bite the back of your hand to muffle your moans while your other hand tangles with his hair. A hand caressed your sides and went up to fondle your breast. You close your eyes and throw your head back in ecstacy. He sucks and nips at your neck and up to your ears and you moan in your hand. You feel his erection grinds on your hips, your hand travels down and in between you as you palm him earning a groan from him.

"(Y/n)," he growls in your ear, "oh you don't know what you do to me. 

"What do I do to you Thorin?" You breathe.

"You make me crazy. You fill my senses until you're the only thing I can think of. You have no idea how many nights I-" he stops.

"How many nights you what?" You ask as you continue to grind your palm to his.

He closes his eyes and groans, "you have no idea how many nights the thoughts of you moaning and writhing from pleasure underneath me have kept me awake" he whispers so low in your ear that you moan.

"Oh Thorin," you say as he kisses you again.

"I want to take you right here, right now," he says in between kisses but stops as he remembers where exactly you are, "maybe not in here. Not when other dwarrow could hear you moan" 

"Yes. And I don't really fancy being caught in the act" you agree.

"Say we postpone it for now?" He asks as he showers kisses to your face.

"Yeah," you breathes, "after all you have a party to host"

You both chuckle, "lets head back. And I promise you, when the time is right I will pleasure you properly"

"Mm. And don't forget you still owe me braiding lessons"

"And that too" he nuzzles your nose as he gives you one last kiss on your lips before he pulls away. You look at him and feel proud at how messy he looks. His disheveled hair, his rumpled clothes, the dark look in his eyes.  _ He looks like someone who snuck away to have sex. _ Then remembers that he did. Almost.

Thorin looks around to see if anyone might notice the both of you coming out. When he thinks that the coast is clear he pulls you out from where you are making out. 

You stop him and fixes his hair and clothes, "we dont want anybody thinking you went away to fuck someone"

He chuckles, "you should look at yourself," he then in return fixes your hair and clothes. His hands linger a little longer on your chest and drop his hands, "I should stop before I lose control"

You laugh.

"Let's go back, amrâlimê" he says and the both of you went back to the celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnddd we're nearing the ennnddd!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its late!! Had a problem with the wifi earlier.

Days have passed with no letter nor hint as to what the next ordeal is. The anticipation made you grow more anxious. You find yourself often pacing the room or staring at the distance. It's just now you and Helga, and after the last test you made sure that her uncles won't be able to interfere with the next ordeal. 

One morning, ten days after the last time you've received a letter, Allia comes running to your room, letter at hand. She hands it to you and you both read it.

_ My lady (y/n), _

_ Greetings!  _

_ For the last test the king and the whole council requires your presence to accommodate their questions about your knowledge and beliefs and as to where you stand on some of the pressing issues of Erebor. We hope you come prepared! _

_ Good luck! _

You look at Allia and she looks back at you. You both sigh in relief.  _ It's easy isn't it? Just answer right and you're okay. _

"Well I've been worried for nothing," you laugh.

"Just to be sure, let's do a dry run," Allia suggested.

Allia throws questions to you and you answer them confidently. She asks you about their history, culture and custom, about current facts. She asks you about the issues the kingdom has and you give her what you think. But Allia easily agrees to everything you say, especially when you say it with confidence, so in turn, both of you decide to seek help from someone more wiser. You call for Tauriel, and when she arrives she bombards you with questions. Tauriel also gives you pointers on how to answer difficult questions. And also review you on the history of middle earth itself. 

It was Helga who was first called. You peek in your door as she is escorted and the three of you count the time until you see her stomping her feet down the hall back to her room.  _ That was fast _ . 

You await your turn, tapping your fingers on your wooden table. Allia paces the room while Tauriel sits calmly on the chair by the hearth.

"Calm down Allia, your nervousness is infectious," Tauriel scolds.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it," Allia sits back to your bed when a knock from the door caught all of your attention. Allia stands and opens it.

Nori enters and says, "your turn lass"

You nod and follow. 

"Can we come too?" Allia asks.

Nori turns back to her and considers, "why not? Just until the study, inside, she has to be alone"

Allia nods as she and Tauriel follow. The four of you walk to the study of the king, a place where you spent most of your time as the royal secretary, where you and the king spend most of your time alone. You wonder if after this, if you did not become queen, would you still be able to keep your job as both the royal secretary and a part of the council. For sure if it were to happen your relationship with Thorin will change, but how about his feelings. Will it change too?

You are lost in your own mind when a dwarrow comes running to you, "my lady! May lady! Help my son. He's missing!" The agitated father grips on your arms as he begs for your help.

"Oh no! Where have you last seen him?!" Panic rises inside you.

"Outside of the mountain! We were hiking through the woods when I lost him. Oh my lady, my son! My son! He must be so scared!" The dwarrow wails.

"Show me where," you say but Nori pulls on your hand.

"What about the king?" He asks.

"Oh he can wait!" You dismiss as you go with the dwarrow. Tauriel follows you while Allia looks back to Nori and to you reluctantly but eventually follows you too.

You go out of the mountain and into the nearby forest, fortunately the sun is still up but not for long. The four of you split up to cover more ground, you called for the boy's name. You search thoroughly through the woods, the longer you are walking the more the forest darkens and your anxiety grows. A lot of unnecessary things cross your mind. Like what if you're too late and the child dies of hypothermia, or what if the child got eaten by some beast or troll, or what if some other gruesome thing happens to the child and you're too late to do anything. You tremble in fear for the kid. You imagine how much the father is feeling right now and realize that this isn't the time for you to show weakness. They need you to be strong. You shake the fear away and continue to look for the child.

You come across a small lake and see a pair of shoes lying on the ground. Fear arises inside of you. You pick it up and call for the boy's name. You walk and submerge yourself in the lake for the fear that the child might have gone in too. You fear that he might have drowned and it was too late for you to save him. You shouts his name and a shuffling comes from behind the bushes and a little boy comes running. You felt relieved when you saw the child and you ran to him. 

"Oh poor child. You must be cold," you remove your fur jacket and place it on him. The chilly air of the night stings your damp skin but you shake it off. You hand the shoes to the child and he wears it.

"Thank you pretty lady," he says. You caress his face. His skin feels so cold under your touch and you can't help but feel both pity and glad for this child has to wait here alone and scared and for finding him.

You sigh, "let's go back to your father"

You stand and reach for his hand. He grips on it and you walk back the way you came. A light from the distance caught your attention and you walked toward it. There you see Tauriel, Allia, and the father waiting for you. When they see you with the child, their faces light up. The child runs to his father and hugs him. Their reunion seems too normal for someone who lost their child and someone who got lost alone in the woods. It baffles the three of you.

You clear your throat. "There, I'm so glad you are reunited"

They both turn towards you and smile, "congratulation my lady," the older dwarrow says.

"Congratulations?" You ask. Confusion also crosses the face of Tauriel and Allia.

"Yes, my lady," he takes a letter from his tunic and hands it to you.

What's written in it enrages you. You shake in anger and crumples the paper. You pound down the path back to the mountain. Allia and Tauriel run to follow you.

"What is it my lady?" Allia asks.

And when you didn't answer Tauriel asks, "(y/n)? What is it?"

But you just continue onward until you reach the garden of Erebor. Lights luminate the whole garden, flowers and shrubs grow on one side and seedling grows on the other. In the middle there is a big tree with a bench before it. You notice the council members on the sides and glare at them. Thorin seems to notice your mood and walks to meet you and as soon as he's within your arm reaches you slap him. You hear loud gasps from the council.

"A child! You left a child in the forest for this stupid test!" You throw the little letter to the council, "keep that damn thing! All of you," you point at them, "you're all.." you grunt, in your anger you couldn't even finish your sentence. You stomp your way out of the garden, leaving Thorin, the council, and both Allia and Tauriel dumbfounded.

"How dare she! Who does she think she is?" One of the council asks.

"Lad, that is the queen of Erebor," Balin answers.

Thorin snaps from his trance and rushes to follow you. Dwarves are natural sprinters, Thorin caught up with you before you even left the garden. He grabs you by the arm and when he sees you crying he pulls you in and hugs you tightly.

"We meant no harm for the child. It's just for the test," he explains. Your arms wrap around him and you cry your frustration in his fur coat. "I apologise for scaring you." Thorin wipes your tears stained cheeks and presses his forehead unto yours, looking directly on your eyes. He leans in and presses a gentle kiss on your lips and pulls you again for a hug. You calm your anger (and yeah maybe you overreacted). 

Balin clears his throat and says, "there is no greater trait a queen can have than benevolence. And you, (y/n), has proven not just to us, but the whole kingdom, that you're worthy of the crown, the title, and of our loyalty." Balin walks towards you and takes your hand, you pull him in and hugs him. "Never doubted you, lass," he whispers to your ear. When he pulls away, he gives you a tender smile which you reciprocate. Dwarves crowd the garden and watch as Balin announces, "Erebor! I present you, your queen!" 

Everybody cheered, some of them even whistled, on one side you see Tauriel side by side with Kili while Allia and Fili are far from each other, cheering for you while stealing glances on each other, silent conversation taking place in a bat of an eyelash, promises of stolen moment when no one is around. Your heart breaks for them. You need to do something for those two, no, you have to do something for those two. You know talking with Thorin about it is nothing, it's the council you worry about. Them and their stupid grasp at control, but of course not all of them, Balin is not, and you are not, remember when you are once a part of that council. But now that you're queen maybe, just maybe, you could convince them to just leave those two alone. Now that you're queen you could help Allia be with her One. Now that you're queen...

You smile as the realization of what Balin had just announced sinks in. You won. You are queen! And most importantly you're marrying the person you love, the person you've been fighting for this whole time, Thorin. Your Thorin.

That night the stars shines brightly above you, a clear night sky visible from where you are standing, the air's gentle breeze makes the trees and the flowers and the plants sway--

"Achoo!" Out of nowhere you sneeze. The fact that you are still drenched from your swim earlier was momentarily forgotten and has now come back via multiple series of sneezes. Instinctively, you hug yourself as you shudder. A heavy coat is placed on your shoulder and an arm around you.

"Let me escort you back to your room," Thorin says.

The both of you left with his arms still around you. He escorts you back to your room, not the one given to you when the courtship is taking place but the original one, the one that was given to you after you woke up from your coma many months ago. The room is chilly and lifeless from being abandoned for a long time but everything still looks the same. Your bed, your books, your chair. Untouched. You run a finger on your table while Thorin brings the fireplace to life. You check it and confirm your suspicion, dusty. It hasn't been dusted for a very long time.  _ Thorough cleaning it is for tomorrow. _

When the fire lits up and lights the room, you head to your closet to look for something to change into (actually at this point you aren't picky anymore, you just want to be out of that god forsaken dress you're in so you just grab the one that your hand could get to). Thorin sits on your chair watching you. You turn your head back to look at him. 

"Want to turn around?" You ask.

"No, I'm good," he says.

You stare at him and you head back to your business. You unlace your dress and start to undress, totally aware that he is watching you from behind. You feel heat rising on your cheeks and you try to alleviate your shyness by thinking of something else besides the fact that he is watching you while every piece of your garment starts to pool at your feet. Everytime a piece of clothing fell he hums approvingly. The knowledge that his eyes are roaming your body, watching you as you undress brings heat to your core. You start breathing deeply and blushing all the way to your ears. When you reach the last layer of your garment a pair of hands stops yours, you're so high on the pleasure of giving him a strip tease that you didn't even notice him approaching you. Thorin turns you around. His breathing the same as your, both pupils dilated, deliciously wet lips. 

He places a hand on your shoulder and you suck a breath in. He chuckles. He grazes a thumb over your lower lips and leans in. The kiss was gentle at first but as it goes it becomes more needy and rough, he swallows all your needy moans and whimpers of need. Your hands go up and twist in his hair while he grips on your waist and grinds on you, making his hard erection evident and you moan on his lips. And when you break the kiss for air he immediately dives down for your neck. Your hands fumble to remove his clothing, pulling his tunic up and throwing it to the floor and going for your own and removing it. He stops to devour your whole naked body, looking at you from head to toe while licking his lips. You run a hand on his chest and surprise him by pushing him to the bed and straddling him. 

"I remember you saying something about pleasuring me properly" you say. He chuckles and grabs your ass, fondling it and earning a gasp from you.

"Aye. I did," he says, "my queen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an emotional roller coaster ride! Thank you for supporting! Love yooouuu!


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